From: CRYSTAL             
To: SAAVIK              
Subject: Huh-uh         
Date & Time: 04/30/91 23:55:41
Message Number 16373

     So you do understand.  Except for the slight tinge of jealously you
are correct.  You do have an honest relationship.  That is important. 
Also the fact that he would come and talk to you about it first is a 
plus and that is even more important.  Comunication, honesty, trust, 
love, respect, friendship are all very important they all rank number
one, none is more important than the other. A couple must have all of 
those 100% before the relationship is opened.  You can not begin a 
relationship open, then try to build the other stuff.
     It took Turtle and I two years before we began talking about 
opening our relationship.  It was easier for him because the only way I
knew was monogomy.  To be honest, I did not believe it could work, and
I just knew that would not work, then I saw it happen.  First I was with
a friend of his.  I learned from this experience that Turtle did not see
me as a slut, (feel free to inject any other word of your choice) and 
the incident not only improved communication but now I could tell him 
anything.  But I was not sure I could do the same for him.  But I did 
anyway.  My problem was not with him, but with the girl he chose.  I 
was not sure she could handle it.  And well I was correct.  And when she
got out of hand and hard to deal with, I just asked Turtle to stop and 
that was fine with him.  That told me I was important to him. And 
although he did want her phisicely he would not do anything to jepordize
us.  That is, I found out that with out a doubt I am the women he wants
to spend the rest of his life with, and no one is going to come between
us. Thats the way we are.  We don't do anything the other one does not
agree with.  And If one day, for some reason we choose to close our 
relationship again, then It will be something we both decide. But now it
is working for us so it will stay open.
                                   * CRYSTAL *