From: Dee@yabbs
To: all@yabbs
Subject: sex
Date: Fri Aug 12 14:23:11 1994

Ok, I dont know where I should post this, so I decided to do it on here. I 
read this cute commentary on Woman and Contraceptives, and although it is 
a little crude, it made me laugh. So I thought I would share it....

From "Hormones From Hell" by Jan King
Chapter 13 "CONTRACEPTION: I'm Just A Girl Who Can't Say No"


MYTH:    The technology of birth control has made quantum leaps into the   
         Space Age.


Who are we kidding? It's the end of the 20th century, and birth control 
practices are still in the Stone Age. And what's worse, many new products 
on the market still pose major health risks - and, of course, all to 
women. We need to make the 21st century an epoch where birth control 
becomes the Sole Responsibility of the Male. C'mon, we women have got a 
lot more to do than sitting around thinking about spermicides all day. The 
thought of all those desperate sperm getting killed is just too big a 
guilt trip for us to handle.

After considering the options available to us, intelligent women should 
use the only 100% safe *oral* birth control: the word "No." And if that's 
just not possible, here are a few of the prehistoric birth control methods 
available to us:


                            THE IUD

Do you remember reading about the torture racks popular during the Spanish 
Inquisition? Well, like the kid in "Poltergeist II" says, "They're 
BAAAAAACK." And you can find them installed in your GYNs' offices. 
Everyday, women are stretched out on them and "fitted" with their IUD's. 
Note: the term "fitted" is used loosely here. Constructed of serrated 
steel and displaying several rows of toothlike structres die cast from 
Jaws models, they act like acharm to lure unsuspecting sperm to their 
grisly demise. There is a basic problem, though. To place one in
the uterus, the IUD with its one inch diameter must be forced through a 
1/2" opening of the cervix. And to compound things, most GYN's insist they 
are dexterous enough to insert them with out anethesia. Oh sure! And these 
are the same guys who won't clip their own toenails without having a 
sedative first!

And how do they fare for safety? Let us count the lawsuits. Most 
pharmaceutical companies employ men who go to great lengths in playing 
down their risks. Male doctors are also a part of this conspiracy. Do you 
realize the little pat speech they spout about the safety and reliability 
of the IUD was written by a team of used car salesmen?

        "Now, ladies. We do not pretend to gloss over some minor risks 
         here. But infection, hemorrhage, death...we're talking peanuts
         in exchange for the happiness of a husband who won't have to use
         those miserable condoms anymore."

It seems to me that the equitable solution to this problem is for an 
all-female pharmaceutical company to devise a male counterpart of the IUD. 
It would be "painlessly" inserted into the male's uretha via a Foley 
catheter. And since it would be inserted only four inches into the uretha, 
according to what you men have told us about your anatomical structures, 
you could easily accomodate it with an extra two to seix inches to spare. 
So, come on guys. Help us gals with this birth control thing by giving 
your "fair share." We're sure you can all rise to meet the operation!




Next devise: the diaphragm...to be discussed in my next post!

Enjoi,

Dee