#: 17303 S1/General Interest
    29-Dec-92  14:23:27
Sb: Night Before Crisis
Fm: Lee Veal 74726,1752
To: All

        Programmer's Night before Crisis

 'Twas the night before crisis and all through the house,
 Not a program was working, not even a browse.

 The programmers were wrung out, too mindless to care,
 Knowing chances of cutover hadn't a prayer.

 The users were nestled all snug in their beds,
 While visions of inquiries danced in their heads.

 When out in the lobby there arose such a chatter,
 I sprang from my tube to see what was the matter.

 And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
 But a Super Programmer, oblivious to fear.

 More rapid than eagles, his programs they came,
 And he whistled and shouted and called them by name;

 "On Update!  On Add!  On Inquiry!  On Delete!"
 "On Batch Jobs!  On Closing!  On Functions Complete!"

 His eyes were glazed over, his fingers were lean,
 From weekends and nirhts in front of the screen.

 A wink of his eye, and twist of his head,
 Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

 He spoke not a word but went straight to work,
 Turning specs into code, then turned with a jerk.

 He sighed as he pressed the big ENTER key,
 The system came up and worked perfectly.

 The updates updated, the deletes deleted,
 Inquiries inquired, and the closing completed.

 He tested each whistle and tested each bell,
 With nary an abend, all had gone well.

 The system was finished, the tests were concluded,
 The users' last changes were even included.

 And the user exclaimed with a snarl and a taunt,
 "It's just what I asked for, but not what I want!"

 ..........Author Unknown

 /ex