From: JONBOY              
To: SCOTT STEEL         
Subject: Character      
Date & Time: 04/11/91 21:24:00
Message Number 14941

Whoa there Hoss!  Jeez bub - I really hate to be a literary critic
but wow - I can't help it.  First you have a charactewr that is
ninja pulling up a raft and starting to eat lunch first.  She complains
about eating fish?  Man the orientals subsist on fish!  That would be
a most unusual thing for an oriental.  Then she stashes her raft and
tries to camoflage it.  In character she would have stashed it first,
surveyed the area, THEN made camp and ate lunch.  As far as relief
at finding a path... in a strange country a path is the LAST thing that
someone that was trained in stealth would consider taking.  Then
you have her ordering steak and eggs and /milk/ in the bar.  Now
personally I have a tough time seeing the steak and eggs but the
milk is a definate faus pas.  Most orientals lack the necessary
enzymes needed to break down milk - it makes them physically ill
to drink milk!  Matter of fact caucasians are the only race that
can consistenly drink milk as adults.  Then before she even eats she
butts in on a partially finished chess game and starts seducing the 
guy even though she has to be pooped.
   Slow down Scott - the story ain't goin anywhere - you'll get laid
soon enough I'm sure!
                            A Critical JonBoy