#: 16413 S1/General Interest
    10-Sep-92  15:14:48
Sb: #Virus Warning/Update
Fm: Lee Veal 74726,1752
To: All

                Computer Virus Update

We must always be alert for the latest computer viruses.  Here are some
recently discovered strains and mutations.

- George Bush Virus:  Does not do anything, but you can't get rid of it until
November.

- Ted Kennedy Virus:  Crashes your computer but denies it ever happened.

- Anita Hill Virus:  Lies dormant for ten years, then has no impact on your
system despite its importance.

- Warren Commission Virus:  Does not let you open your files for 75 years.

- Jerry Brown Virus:  Blanks your screen and begins flashing an 800 number.

- David Duke Virus:  Makes your screen go completely white.

- Congress Virus:  Overdraws your disk space.

- Pat Buchanan Virus:  Shifts all output to the exrteme right of the screen.

- Paul Tsonga Virus:  Pops up on December 25th and says, "I'm not Santa Claus."

- Mario Cuomo Virus:  Has difficulty deciding what to do to your system.

- Dan Quayle Virus:  Forces your computer to play golf games from 10 AM to 4 PM
six days a week.

- Bill Clinton Virus:  This virus mutates from region to region throughout the
country.

- Richard Nixon Virus:  Blanks your screen for 18-1/2 minutes.  Although you
can eliminate this v rus, it always makes a comeback.

- H. Ross Perot Virus:  Appears ready to make significant changes to your
system but then goes away without leaving a trace.


From "AppleWorks Forum", September 1992, page 28.
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