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echo: yabbs.poetry
to: ALL
from: sienna@yabbs
date: 1994-08-10 16:18:49
subject: re: in progress

From: sienna@yabbs
To: Lestat!@yabbs
Subject: re: in progress
Date: Wed Aug 10 16:18:49 1994

Cool...liked the images that poem evoked....

Ok, you wanted some feedback, here is my 2% of two cents worth....

You might wanna take a look at the form of the poem.

Ex:

"...and her skin
brushed
mine; a pitiful reminder
of what we once had
[of what] we will
never
have again and she started
to cry..."

Just a suggestion....makes for choppy reading but it also makes certain 
words or phrases stand out..

All in all a wonderful poem and I, for one, am glad tha you posted it.

Take care,

*hugs*

Dee

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