From: sienna@yabbs
To: Lestat!@yabbs
Subject: re: in progress
Date: Wed Aug 10 16:18:49 1994
Cool...liked the images that poem evoked....
Ok, you wanted some feedback, here is my 2% of two cents worth....
You might wanna take a look at the form of the poem.
Ex:
"...and her skin
brushed
mine; a pitiful reminder
of what we once had
[of what] we will
never
have again and she started
to cry..."
Just a suggestion....makes for choppy reading but it also makes certain
words or phrases stand out..
All in all a wonderful poem and I, for one, am glad tha you posted it.
Take care,
*hugs*
Dee
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