From: "Smiler" 


"Ray Fischer"  wrote in message
news:4606f533$0$14066$742ec2ed{at}news.sonic.net...
> stumper   wrote:
>>Ray Fischer wrote:
>>> stumper   wrote:
>>>> Ray Fischer wrote:
>>>>> stumper   wrote:
>>>>>> Ray Fischer wrote:
>>>>>>> stumper   wrote:
>>>>>>>> Do you exist because you think?
>>>>>>> I did philosophy 101 in college a couple of
decades ago.  get back
>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>> us when you've learned how little you know.
>>>>>> I read philosophy for seven years.
>>>>> Ah, so you're a dishonest asshole who uses philosophy just to
>>>>> argue, with no regard for the truth whatever.
>>>>>
>>>>>> How do you know whether the universe exists or not?
>>>>> 1st Meditations.
>>>> Philosophy is not science.
>>>
>>> I didn't say it is.
>>>
>>>> Religion is not science.
>>>
>>> Likewise.
>>>
>>>> Science is not good enough for philosophy.
>>>
>>> LOL!
>>>
>>>> Science is not good enough for religion.
>>>
>>> Says the wanker using science to communicate with people.
>>
>>You are sadly mistaken.
>
> Not usually and not this time, wanker.
>
>>I have been doing philosophy all along.
>
>    M: (Knock)
>    A:   Come in.
>    M:   Ah, Is this the right room for an argument?
>    A:   I told you once.
>    M:   No you haven't.
>    A:   Yes I have.
>    M:   When?
>    A:    Just now.
>    M:   No you didn't.
>    A:   Yes I did.
>    M:  You didn't
>    A:   I did!
>    M:  You didn't!
>    A:   I'm telling you I did!
>    M:  You did not!!
>    A:   Oh, I'm sorry, just one moment. Is this a five minute argument or
>    the full half hour?
>    M:  Oh, just the five minutes.
>    A:   Ah, thank you. Anyway, I did.
>    M:  You most certainly did not.
>    A:   Look, let's get this thing clear; I quite definitely told you.
>    M:  No you did not.
>    A:   Yes I did.
>    M:   No you didn't.
>    A:   Yes I did.
>    M:   No you didn't.
>    A:   Yes I did.
>    M:   No you didn't.
>    A:   Yes I did.
>    M:  You didn't.
>    A:   Did.
>    M:  Oh look, this isn't an argument.
>    A:   Yes it is.
>    M:   No it isn't. It's just contradiction.
>    A:   No it isn't.
>    M:  It is!
>    A:   It is not.
>    M:  Look, you just contradicted me.
>    A:   I did not.
>    M:  Oh you did!!
>    A:   No, no, no.
>    M:  You did just then.
>    A:   Nonsense!
>    M:  Oh, this is futile!
>    A:   No it isn't.
>    M:  I came here for a good argument.
>    A:   No you didn't; no, you came here for an argument.
>    M:  An argument isn't just contradiction.
>    A:   It can be.
>    M:  No it can't. An argument is a connected series of statements
>    intended to establish a proposition.
>    A:   No it isn't.
>    M:  Yes it is! It's not just contradiction.
>    A:   Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.
>    M:  Yes, but that's not just saying 'No it isn't.'
>    A:   Yes it is!
>    M:   No it isn't!
>
>    A:   Yes it is!
>    M:  Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the
>    automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes.
>    (short pause)
>    A:  No it isn't.
>    M:  It is.
>    A:  Not at all.
>    M:  Now look.
>    A: (Rings bell)  Good Morning.
>    M:  What?
>    A:   That's it. Good morning.
>    M:   I was just getting interested.
>    A:   Sorry, the five minutes is up.
>    M:  That was never five minutes!
>    A:   I'm afraid it was.
>    M:  It wasn't.
>    Pause
>    A:   I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue anymore.
>    M:  What?!
>    A:   If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another
>    five minutes.
>    M:  Yes, but that was never five minutes, just now. Oh come on!
>    A:  (Hums)
>    M:  Look, this is ridiculous.
>    A:   I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid!
>    M:  Oh, all right.
>    (pays money)
>    A:   Thank you.
>    short pause
>    M:  Well?
>    A:   Well what?
>    M:   That wasn't really five minutes, just now.
>    A:    I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid.
>    M:   I just paid!
>    A:   No you didn't.
>    M:   I DID!
>    A:   No you didn't.
>    M:  Look, I don't want to argue about that.
>    A:  Well, you didn't pay.
>    M:  Aha. If I didn't pay, why are you arguing? I Got you!
>    A:   No you haven't.
>    M:  Yes I have. If you're arguing, I must have paid.
>    A:   Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare time.
>    M:  Oh I've had enough of this.
>    A:   No you haven't.
>    M:  Oh Shut up.
>

A great Python sketch, but you missed out the funniest bit, where he goes
into the wrong room at the beginning at gets 'Gratuitous insults' instead
of
'Argument'. I think a more appropriate one to this situation is the "Hello
Bruce" sketch with the Philosophers song.

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar Who could think you under the table
David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist
Socrates himself was permanently pissed

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will With half a pint of shandy got
particularly ill Plato, they say, could stick it away Half a crate of
whiskey every day
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle Hobbes was fond of his dram
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart "I drink therefore I am"

Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed A lovely little thinker but a
bugger when he's pissed



Smiler,
The godless one

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