I have seen this (if not already posted!) before but it is so funny I still 
chuckled at seeing it again on AH.

http://www.angryharry.com/index2.html

From George Rolph ...

Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"?
Here's a prime 
example offered by an English professor at an American University.

"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The 
process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his 
or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a 
short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another 
paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, 
and so on back and forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each 
time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO 
talking and anything you wish to say must be written on the paper. The story 
is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

The following was turned in by two English students: Rebecca (last name 
deleted), and Gary (last name deleted).

-----------------------------------------------------

THE STORY:

(first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The 
chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now 
reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he 
liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off 
Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too 
much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the 
question.

-----------------------------------------------------

(second paragraph by Gary)

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now 
in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the 
neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had 
spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17,???*?? 
he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No 
sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle 
beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. 
The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the 
cockpit.

-----------------------------------------------------

(Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not before he felt one 
last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever 
had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless 
hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law 
Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper 
one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared 
out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly 
and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from 
her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things round her. "Why 
must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

-----------------------------------------------------

(Gary)

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of 
miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its 
lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the 
Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth 
a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to 
destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the 
Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to 
pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly 
initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the 
atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine 
headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the 
inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 
million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference 
table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em 
out of the sky!"

-----------------------------------------------------

(Rebecca)

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing 
partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

-----------------------------------------------------

(Gary)

Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at 
writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have chamomile 
tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F##KING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an 
air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."

-----------------------------------------------------

(Rebecca)

A##hole.

----------------------------------------------------

(Gary)

Bitch.

-----------------------------------------------------

(Rebecca)

DICK!

-----------------------------------------------------

(Gary)

Slut.

-----------------------------------------------------

(Rebecca)

Get f**ked.

-----------------------------------------------------

(Gary)

Eat sh*t.

-----------------------------------------------------

(Rebecca)

F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!

-------------------------------------------------------

(Gary)

Go drink some tea - Wh*re!

**********************************************

(TEACHER)

A+ - I really liked this one.


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