> CP wrote --
>> Exaxtly; this is what it means "to learn from history" -- learn the whys &
> wherefors, not the when/where/who of it all. . .
> I like "the small stuff", this led to that, which caused something else,
> which became this...
> History didn't just happen.  Still doesn't.
> Oh once in a while there was some big event (Country A wanted what
> Country B had and grabbed it) but for the most part its a series of small
> events
> that lead to big events.

Tru 'nough.  But knowing the date & location of a battle that took place in the 19th century does little to prepare you for the leaders trying to recreate  another war, so they can increase the value of their stock holdings in Big  Steel.

> IOW, events very seldom happen full blown out of nothing.

Yup, same as divorce -- it's never the one thing named by one person as the  cause -- it's a series of omissions by both (mostly omitting to work on  cementing the marriage, &/or on focusing on the betterment & happiness of the  other.)

I warn young couples, pre-marriage: Some times you will argue -- I guarantee it & I further guarantee that both of  you will be wrong, & maybe both will be a little right.

I point out even in the little things likewatching YV, it pays to place the  marriage first.

Miss, you'l be watching a show together & you'll point out that the girl's  boobs are fake; he doesn't care.
Sir, you'll be watching maybe the same show,& point out that the fit lead, whom she's looking at a lot, is gay; she doesn't care.

As it should be -- look, enjoy, even point out ideal specimens to one another,  but be a committed couple at all times! Real love is commitment, otherwise it's just infatuation, what we used to call "puppy love."

Jmy wife & I, married nearly 15 years now, are "wed, not dead" & "married, not  buried"(yup those two rhyme here!) & we enjoy the feast for the eyes that  exists every summer here. . . & is on TV 24/7, to boot!

We're not going anywhere but to be with each other any time soon.

She'll point out some Rubenesque young lovely while we're out & note, "You like
'em like that, right?" I gave up on trying to do the same for her, as I'm 
always wrong. Her & her daughter do well enough pointing guys out to each  other, so I'm not worried.

One year, in exchange for my getting to go out & plat poker every Wednesday  evening, I had to get her a Fireman calendar -- I did, because so what?

I'd also order & pay for a pizza delivery as I left the house. . .

>> You & I, & others, spent our time learning, rather thAn amassing influence,
> position,. & power
> Never been interested in any of that.
> Never been interested in having more than the other guy.
> I try to live a simple life, and I'm not given to trying to keep up with
> the Joneses.  I don't need, or necessarily want the newest, biggest, best
> whatever.
> Unless it comes time to replace something because its outdated (however
> one wants to define that), or broken beyond repair/cost of maintaining, I'm
> happy with what I have.

You've described me exactly!

I was raised that way--not to be envious of my brother's gifts over mine & vice versa.

I only need "enough" (a word as lost to the current generations as "phone  book")

Thankfully my wife is likewise or I'd be in trouble!

I don't need to be in charge of anything -- I'm content with being an  influencer and assistant to those taking on the added stress of leadership.

When I need to have it, I'll start my own business; but for nowm, I respect  those who have made that leap into running a business that can afford to hire  me, & appreciate, just fine, being in my part of it.

I was dumbfoubnded when I learned one servers' union was demnanding a sya in  restaurant design as part of their requirement to sitgn a contract.  I was  thinking, "What? You want to design a restaurant, BUY one or start one!"

Another one was hlding up negotiations by demanding their birthday off with pay each year! Hey, your birthsay's not special -- everybody alive & who has ever  lived has/had one!  Congratulations, nobody stopped the Earth's orbit this year
& you made it around the sun for another full orbit.

I get they want extra personal days off, but I say you ask ncely for them, &  make the necessary arrangements for shift coverage before asking.

If I asked for time off, it was because I had an emergency medical or dental  appointment, not to party.

>> Likewise -- I can recoignizea few names & sorta know their area, but only
> becauise I lolve doing croissword puzzles
> I prefer the large Sunday style crosswords, which I do a regular basis.
> I often be stumped when a clue is "star of this or that big tv show".
> I don't have a tv, (haven't for years) and have no idea what shows are
> on.
> Now ask me about something 30-35 years ago and earlier and I know.

& those are the ones I don't know, except from crosswords. . . I'm not into 
entertainment, or when I am, I'm  not into the performers' personal info  (marriage, kids, former shows, et al)

ok, I looked up a couple singers to find out how creepy I was being in admiring their stage apearance. Nmot very, it turned out. . .

>> This is why the trope is of the sexy girls trying to meet the sailors, eh?
> Girls love guys in uniforms.  :)

Except any uniform that comes with a paper cap & fryer grease.

>> Along with how when he asked her to marry him, she never answered until in
> front of the mayor(the rules in France were that a couple must be married by
> the mayor
> Been embarrassing if she said no at that point.  :)

I wondered about that, & they both said they continued with the planning it  together, so the presumption was solid that it was a go.

My folks got married twice that week -- once by the mayor to settle the legal  part, & once more in chapel my dad found because my mom always wanted to  involve church in her wedding.  This was 20 months before I was born, so nobody can call me a bastard with any degree of validity!

They told my grandpa she was pregnant to get his signature (needed then(1965))

> My brother and SIL were high school sweethearts and married right after
> she graduated high school in 1958.  They are still together.  Had a girl and
> a boy and several grandkids and great-grandkids.

Nice!

>> I was extremely crude & lewd, but not in front of adults, nor girls -- I had
> that basic respect taught to me at home, as you did.
> I was never that way.
> I was always polite and all, called my elders sir and ma'am, etc.
> Never used foul language, never talked back, etc.
> I was a model child.  (Pardon me while I adjust my halo).  :)

Different peer group milieus (geographical & generational); I wished I'd been  more like you, actually, but I had a path of ;learning to go down,. & these  were weeds I had to figure out were a problem & get out of my way.)

> I neglected the last time in answer to the question if I had kids to say
> "not that I know of".   :)

Same; well I know of one for sure & one who's fifty-fifty, but others? Unlikely but not a zero possibility.

> Frankly I don't care too much for children.  I can take them in small
> doses through.

I don't mind them, too much, depending  who's raised them, though. & small  doses are always best.

> I found later I was on her rebound.
> She went back to her old boy friend, married and had a couple of kids.
> They then divorced after a couple of years, and a daughter.
> I found all this out later from mutual friends.

I had one of those, too, & I was like 'meh' when I found out, from her, she'd  gone backl to her 'first'; we didn't have a serious time together -- just one  nice date. I had met her on the BBS network here, & fallen hard in love before  I even met/saw her.

Talked to her mom online & by phone -- she adored me & I her.

I understand that's the way to kill a romance -- be liked by the girl's mother.
 
Yup, her mom did not like the other guy & saw, in contrast, how different he &  I were. I was kinder & more reswpectful in just liking her daughter, while he  was actively dating her.

Experiences. . .Knowledge. . .

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-6