>   Then, it's "Wake Up!! Time For Your Sleeping Pill!!".

I've learned to always check tghe order thge doc writes and insist he add
"PRN" to every night time med, especially sleeping pills.

 >   I've reasoned that if they ever ask "Shall We Have Our Enema??", I'm
 > going to ask "Oh!! I get to give you one, too??!!" .

I'd say, simply, "All right; you first, though. . ."

 >   So, he got the idea to order a thing of apple juice, because as sure
 > as the world, the nurse would come in, and ask for a urine sample. As
 > a side note, they do ask about "The Three P's -- Peeing, Pooping, and
 > Procreation". 

 >   Anyway, she brought in a specimen cup, and said "I'll step outside to
 > give some privacy". While her back is turned, he pours the now warm
 > apple juice into the specimen cup. When she came back, she concerningly
 > said "Oh!! It's a little dark!!". 

 >   That would mean one's urine is concentrated, or they were dehydrated.
 > If it's "clear as water", you're likely overhydrated, and having to
 > urinate every 5 minutes (think of being on Lasix or other diuretic).

 >   Anyway, to her complaint about his urine being dark, he grabbed the
 > specimen cup, and said "That's OK!! I'll run it through again!!", and
 > swigged it right down!!

 >   The nurse screamed, and fainted dead away...but, she never bothered
 > him again. 

Classic! I heard it as "It looks a bit ckloudy" & he says, "No problem, 
I'll filter it through again," & guzzle guzzle gulp. . .

 >   He said that one day, someone had left a fur coat in the room, and
 > that when he discovered it, he took the gown off, put on the coat, put
 > the gown back on, and went back to sleep. He added "When he woke up
 > before surgery, some darn fool was shaving the coat!!" .  

I can see that happening. . . I've been in those cold wards!

 >   Another guy was in the hospital for surgery, and was still in there
 > on his birthday. So, to cheer him up, his friends sent in a female
 > stripper. She walked into his room, with her fur coat on...and that
 > was all she had. She took it off, and she...naked as a jaybird...said
 > "Happy Birthday!! I'm here to give you the Super Sex!!".

 >   He looked at her, thought a minute, and said "I'll have the soup,
 > please!!". 

I have a lot of days like this these days. .  or I'd eye her up & down & 
then ask what kind of soup is it?

It's like the old lady in a home, who got bored, tied a towel around her 
neck, like a cape and ran around yelling "Super sex" 9/10 of the gents on 
the ward asked for the soup!  The 10th was a relative of Little Johnny &
answered reflexively to the only word he heard.

Guess we should leave these for the FUNNY echo, eh? We're in MEMORIES
currently.

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
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