Hyerdahl wrote:

> Andre Lieven wrote:
>
>>http://forum.dearingfilm.com//index.php?showtopic=7623&st=10
>>
>>This was written to Susan Reimer in July 2003 in response to her
>
> article
>
>>"Grow-up Men! We need you in the family!"
>>
>>Greetings, Ms. Reimer!
>>
>
> (edit)>
>
>  I have noticed that one of the double-standards in American society is
>
>
>>thus: If a woman decides not to marry, she is asserting her
>>independence. But if a man decides not to marry, he is immature,
>>irresponsible, self-absorbed and living-out his "adult-olescence"
>
> (Boo!
>
>>Hiss!)
>
>
> [He loses his point here, as, for centuries, single women have been
> regarded as "old maid" while single men have been called bachelors.]
>
>
>>(edit)
>>
>>But in your entire article, this was my favorite quote: "Women, for
>>their part, are losing patience with this guy."
>>
>>Oh yes, so saintly are women to put up with us intolerable
>
> barbarians, I
>
>>know! They were so wonderful to allow me to breathe the same air. But
>
>
>>why on earth would I pursue a woman who views me with scorn and
>
> distaste?
>
> [Context is everything; she was speaking of men who want a relationship
> without commitment.  Women can and DO lose patience for such men to the
> point of telling them to go away.  There's nothing wrong with that.  If
> men don't know what they want and women, do, they can find it
> elsewhere, BOTH of them.]If you don't want to marry, DON'T.  It's just
> that simple.
> (edit of screed against marriage)
>
>>So this is what is possibly in store for me if I marry an American
>>woman. Goodie!  A 50% chance of divorce, 70% chance of it being
>>initiated by my wife over my objections. Half of my stuff gone. My
>
> kids
>
>>traumatized and taken away from me and turned into pawns so she can
>>act-out her vindictive rage on me. Zero enforcement of visitation
>>rights. Alimony masquerading as child support. Arrests and
>
> prosecution
>
>>for DV on no evidence but a complaint. Debts and suicide. Give me two
>
>
>>heaping scoops please!
>
>
> [I have some bad news for you, all those things can happen even if you
> marry a foreign woman and move her here.  What does she become, but an
> American wife?
> If you really cherish foreign las on marriage, you would need to move
> there.]
>
>
>>Do you think that we men are so mindless and unthinking that we don't
>
>
>>take these things into consideration while planning our lives?
>
>
> [I think that men who buy mail order brides from foreign countries
> don't take into account that what they end up with, legally, is just
> another American wife.]
>
>>(edit)> >
>
>
>  The fact that many men have quit wanting wives couldn't possibly have
>
>>anything to do with the fact that women have been quite willing to
>
> make
>
>>fun of us for being men and seem to regard masculinity as some kind
>
> of
>
>>contaminant or pathology.
>
>
> [Men are the last ones to face fun-making; men have been making fun of
> women for centuries and still do.  You don't like turnabout fair play?]
>

It depends upon the way in which the fun is
poked. When I first saw Jo Brand she was taking
the piss out of men's sensitivities about their
private parts. I had no problem in going along
with the humour because the way in which Brand
did it was to invite men to laugh at themselves
not to use it as an abusive device.

D.

>
> (edit)
>
>>But it will not induce us to marry in greater numbers as long as the
>>underlying cultural biases and legal institutions remain unaddressed
>
> and
>
>>unchanged!!
>
>
> [Then you won't be marrying dear, because, here in America and the
> west, women have equal rights.  I don't see that changing.]
>
>>(edit)
>
>
>>But I simply adore my Japanese girlfriend. She is wonderful. She
>
> treats
>
>>me with the amount of respect owed to a human being. She doesn't see
>
> me
>
>>as a walking ATM machine. She doesn't see me as her oppressor or as a
>
>
>>Neanderthal. She doesn't joke about kneeing me in the groin or
>
> smirk
>
>>about cutting-off my penis. She believes that marriage is something
>
> that
>
>>she should take seriously, not something which can be erased on a
>
> whim.
>
>>She wants me in her life, she treats me with kindness and generosity
>
> and
>
>>understanding. She sees my libido is a good thing rather than as a
>
> petty
>
>>irritant or a means of exploitation.
>
>
> [I read a study on Japanese women showing that they didn't want to
> marry anymore so as to pursue their careers.  Hmmm   What you seem to
> be enjoying is a Japanese GF, who...if you marry her, will be an
> American wife.  ]
>
>
>>But whoever my future wife is, she certainly won't be from your
>
> country.
>
>>You can bet on it.
>
>
> [I do.  No one from here would have you.]
>


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