Great!  I feel as if you and I can partner in answering this
man's concerns:


In article ,
 "Hyerdahl"  wrote:

> American male wrote:
>
>
> > I've been experimenting with the online dating scene.  As a 40 yr
> old, I
> > have found it difficult to find someone who wants to 'settle
> > down'...especially with someone such as myself.
>
> Have you been married?  Usually, a man who has been married finds it a
> bit easier the second time around.  However, if you're really looking
> for love, you will find it, IMO.

Indeed.

Listen, (assuming you aren't a troll), you're in a perfect
position to find a mate.  You can easily start having a family
10 years down the road and nobody will bat an eye.  The women
in their late 30's and 40's are at the end of the road.

Also, nobody is limiting you to dating these women.
Look younger (down to 23 or so if you like.)  Go to
performing arts and art clubs with a lot of young
professional singles.  You'll find plenty of women
ready to settle down AND have the time to enjoy
the relationship first.

Why should you feel a need to rush when you don't need to?

>  Most of the women I meet > initially indicate kindness, patience,
> respect etc etc are the most  important attributes they are seeking.  I
> possess those criteria.  However,  although I make a respectable
> living,  I do not rake in a mega salary, nor  do I wear an expensive
> watch, or drive a fancy automobile.
>
> Do you really _want_ to be attractive to the sort of woman who is
> looking at the money instead of the man?  I mean they should have a
> male perfume called "no golddiggers".  :-)  There's women
out there who
> are probably looking for a man just like you;  you just haven't found
> those women yet.

Yikes, I agree with you!

Indeed, you don't want such a woman especially if she's
older because she'll have a kid and dump you in 10 seconds.
And a lot of other men know it too.

F them!  You're successful in your own right and you
can enjoy yourself.  Don't apologize.

>   I characterize > myself as financially conservative.  Most women
> appear to be desirous of men > who fit the aforementioned criteria, and
> if the are a 'nice guy' it is icing > on the cake.  I feel it is BS
> when women indicate they want a nice, caring, > honest guy.  They
> should add an asterisk next to it that reads. "As long as > you have
> lots of money, have a great job, a full head of hair, in shape, and >
> are willing to spend lots of money on me as I am self centered and high
> > maintenance".  Most women my age or older realize that their
> biological > clock has run out of ticks and have no need to marry to
> produce offspring.  In addition, most are independent and earn a salary
> that affords them a  comfortable lifestyle.  They have gotten to this
> point in life without a  man, why would they want a lowly male such as
> me?  Are they all waiting for > Mr. handsome prince, CEO, muscular,
> good-looking, ivy league educated etc  etc to come and sweep them off
> their feet?  I would think that if this > proverbial figure does exist,
>  the competition would be intense as he would > be a rare and in demand
> commodity.  I'm beginning to think that if these > women can not find
> "Mr everything wrapped into one", they will go on living
> life as a
> spinster.  They sure are not breaking my door down although I keep >
> myself fit and trim and am 'squared away'.
>
> Well, if you are just as you describe, you will find someone to love
> and be loved in return.  There are so many dating services; why not try
> one?  Younger people use them all the time.  And remember, you may have
> to kiss a few frogs before you meet the princess.

Dating services are a mixed bag because a lot of
the same women you've met who've been golddiggers find
that the internet gets them a lot of hits from men.
Maybe not hits that are productive, but they still
find some satisfaction that men find them attractive.

Shop around VERY carefully.  Be VERY wary of paid dating services
since their primary goal is to get money and if they
set you up with low quality women, that's your problem.

Travel.  Not just internationally but around the country.
You might find some very nice women when you least expect it.

regards,
Mark Sobolewski


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