Howdy Trooper!  ...In a msg of , Texas Border Patrol wrote:

 TP> Columbia is one of the major South American drug exporting nations, is it
 TP> not?

 TP> No matter, here in Texas we shoot first and ask questions later. *BLAM*

 TP> We blasted that varmin, whatever it was, out of the sky real good boss!

You boys were certainly true to that good old Texas spirit, or at
least the stereotype we've found so useful.  Well done, and don't let
my delay replying make you think that my PR flacks spent a long time
trying to figure the best spin for this little incident.  Fortunately
this hasn't showed-up in any message areas frequented by the general
public, so we may actually just let sleeping dogs lie.  Moving on...

 TP> We're certain that you'll be proud of us. No drug-crazed South American
 TP> banana republic messes with these here Excited States and lives to tell
 TP> about it!

Wars are certainly hell, and to win them we have to be willing to make
the occasional sacrifice.  Far as this little misunderstanding goes,
well, better safe than sorry!

By the way...    I know that neither the Texas part of the National
Guard or you boys are supposed to have any tac nukes or medium range
missiles.  Still, since we folks do cherish our weapons, I thought I
would mention that if someone starts talking about targets in a
"Columbia District" or District of Columbia that is North of y'all,
be advised that the DoC contains the glorious capital of the U.S.A.

Huh?  Maybe we should think about changing that name, though I've no
idea why you guys would ever feel a need to look at a map.  Just keep
your eyes on those radar screens, and don't think too much, right?


Well, enough for now.  Tell the boys hanging around "the old watering
holes" that I'm working real hard arranging the latest battle in the
War Against Terrorism.  Every time we put on a high-tech pyrotechnic
show, we use up a whole lot of stockpiled weapons, and you know what
that means.  Yessir!  We're going to give the economy a nice boost,
because all those cruise missiles and bombs now need to be replaced!

As well, we're going to safeguard Iraqi oil for the average Iraqi,
and I'm sure that they'll be grateful enough to sell a lot of it to
us.  After all, we don't want to use up all our Texas oil reserves
when Texas can be just as prosperous selling beef to McD's and
high-tech weapons to our proud military machine!


God Bless the American Way.


                 ÛÛÝ
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                 ±Ý   * * ±* * ± *
                 ±Ý  * * *± *± *  ±ÛÛ
                 ±Ý   * * ±* * ± *±²ÛÛÛÛ
                 ±Ý  * * *± *± *  ±ÛÛ±²ÛÛÛ
                 ±Ý ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ* * ± *±²ÛÛÛÛ²ÛÛÛ
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                 ±Ý ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ°±²²Û *±²ÛÛÛÛ²ÛÛÛ
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                 ±Ý ÛÛÛÛÛÛ±±²ÛÛÛ±²ÛÛÛ±²ÛÛÛÛÛ
                 ±Ý³       °±²²Û°±²²ÛÛÛÛ²ÛÛÛ
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                 ±Ý³               ÛÛ±²ÛÛÛÛÛ
                 ±Ý³                 ÛÛÛ²ÛÛÛ

                                                  Warmest Regards,

                                                  George W. Bush


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