-=> Quoting Maurice Kinal to Nancy Backus on 11-02-06  13:29 <=-

 NB> I really don't know what other words (other than a string of
 NB> explanation) to use, either.  And just to complicate things, I'm
 NB> beginning to realize there is overlap between the meanings of love 
 NB> with the meanings of respect... 

 MK> Common ground.  Maybe that is because in order to love one has to be
 MK> respectful.  I am somewhat certain that must be the case.
 
Love and respect do go hand-in-hand.  The other commonality I see is
that each can be a decision, not just a feeling.

 MK> All I know for sure is that those who don't seem to respect
 MK> themselves, for whatever reason, don't seem to be able to muster
 MK> respect from others around them.  There may be some sort of
 MK> correlation there. 

Yes, that often happens.  I think the point I was also making was that
it doesn't HAVE to happen, that one can be offered a certain level of
respect even when not "respect-able" or when one's actions etc seem to
point to a lack of self-respect.  Sometimes being proffered respect
nonetheless* can break the cycle, and help the person to once again BE
someone that can muster respect from others.

 NB>> Often that stems from a false guilt, or someone else's laying
 NB>> on a guilt trip, rather than from any real fault.
 MK> I am not sure.  I think it could be from a number of causes more then
 MK> likely the enviroment one grows up in, family influences perhaps being
 MK> the major one. However I have seen cases where one would assume the
 MK> outcome to be bad and it wasn't, or at least it doesn't appear to be
 MK> so.  Another toughie. 

Note that I didn't explicitly state where the guilt trip came from.  Way
too often it IS from family, and family influences and learned behaviors  
therefrom.  And you are right that one can transcend one's background,
and not necessarily be molded by it.

 NB>> actions.  So I would still treat with a certain level of respect, no
 NB>> matter what.
 MK> That is hard.  I find myself being wary when things don't seem to be
 MK> 'right', whatever that means.
 
I think it is possible to combine Wary with Respect.  As I've been
saying, there are levels of respect, at the very least.  One doesn't
have to be foolishly trusting everyone in order to give them some
respect.  I don't see Trust and Respect as synonyms, but, for the higher
levels of respect, yes, indeed, trust is an aspect of it, or at least,
goes along with it, just like love, as we were saying above...  :)

ttyl         neb

... I'm a pilot.  I pick it up here and pile it there.

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