Hey Nancy!

Nov 21 19:27 06, Nancy Backus wrote to Maurice Kinal:

 MK>> Possibly but offhand I don't think we are.  Perhaps our respective
 MK>> approaches to the problem are different.

 NB> That is also a possibility...  :)

I am guessing it is more of a probability.  Just different perspectives of
the same idea methinks.

 NB> I'd rather keep the peace... :)

Right.  That is the usual reason.  However I still think it doesn't require
actual respect to pull that off but instead giving them the latitude that
any person should get to do their thing as long as it doesn't harm others. 
Something like that.

 NB> Here we probably do differ some, then.  I can keep that separation 
 NB> also
 NB> with those I do meet and have some sort of relationship with.  Those 
 NB> who
 NB> merit trust as well as respect, though, will be those with whom I am
 NB> willing to have the deeper relationships.

I was thinking more along the lines of people I've never met whose actions
and/or writings have somehow influenced my life in some meaningful way. 
That has happened and I feel much respect for those types although I've
never met them and am not likely to ever meet them let alone have a
relationship with.  Quite a few of them have been dead for ages now which
kind of puts a damper on any hope to a meaningful relationship.  In these
situations trust isn't even an issue as I am likely to never really know
them and they could easily be people that I wouldn't be compatible with
anyhow.  Offhand I cannot think of anyone I know who I respect and don't
trust and have some sort of human relations with.  In day to day situations
I think the two probably have to go hand in hand.

 NB> It is indeed a process... learning one's limitations and limits.

I still haven't really learned that other than physical limitiations.  How about you?

 NB> I'm not sure that parents are all that much different... there are
 NB> others as well that do have the other's interest at heart, even when
 NB> badly out of line in reality.  Otherwise, yes, true enough...  :)

In general terms I think the parental situation is different although
perhaps a coupling situation shares some of the same attributes but for
different reasons.  Bottomline is that in both these situations the result
is the same and the advisor has to live with the results of the given
advice and thus the advice is often tempered by that.  Much easier to give
advice to total strangers, especially if it turns out to be bad advice. 
:-)

 NB> I'm pretty sure I'd agree with you that some of those things were 
 NB> indeed
 NB> sneaky, even though they thought they were smart... ;)

From my observations I see little difference except maybe the intentions. 
Sneaky doesn't always mean harm.  Does it?

 NB> more to the more general wisdom of being respectfully cautious where
 NB> called for.  Jesus referred to that as being "as wise as serpents, 
 NB> and
 NB> as gentle as doves".   :)

Sometimes that works.

Life is good,
Maurice

--- Msged/LNX 6.2.0