Hey Nancy!

Nov 19 22:59 06, Nancy Backus wrote to Maurice Kinal:

 MK>> Hell.  Perhaps a benefit of a doubt while being wary is a better 
 MK>> option then automatic respect simply due to position. 

 NB> I think we are talking about two different things here.

Possibly but offhand I don't think we are.  Perhaps our respective
approaches to the problem are different.

 NB> position given the leader.  I am talking of a much more basic 
 NB> attitude
 NB> of respectfulness that merely treats the other as having an intrinsic
 NB> value.

Understood.  If I find it difficult to respect anyone for whatever reason I
am more inclined to avoid that person and save both of us much grief.  It
can and does happen and I suppose it could be looked at as basic respect
for that person's, as well as my own, right to quality of life simply
because I don't wish to bother each of us with any excess grief.  I
personally find it impossible to fake it for very long and if I have to I
require more reason to follow that course of action then is normally
provided in human relations.  I am sure they agree, whoever they are.

 NB> hand, can and often does produce damage.  Perhaps in your mind the 
 NB> trust
 NB> and respect are inseperable?

Usually ... maybe always now that you mention it or at least how respect
pertains to everyday sorts of relationships.  There are people I respect
that I have never met and don't have a relationship with and in those cases
the issue of trust doesn't even enter into it.

 NB> Ok, then, maybe you made the wrong judgement call in some instances. 

Against my initial instincts.  Those are the ones I live to regret.

 NB> Even so, at the moment, it probably seemed the best thing to be 
 NB> doing,
 NB> however wrong it turned out to be, in hindsight.

Uaually.  However if I hadn't gone along with whatever then nobody would
have known it was a bad idea.  Overall going with the flow may have been
the silver lining in that dark cloud.  Tough to say for sure though.

 NB> One can certainly disagree respectfully...

I am getting better at that but maybe not good enough.  Anyhow getting
better at saying 'no' and finding it easier to live with the results.

 NB> not something to be guilty about, usually.  My father gave me some
 NB> doozies over the years... I learned to respect him* but not 
 NB> necessarily
 NB> heed his advice unless I had looked at it very closely...

Parents are different though.  At least mine had my interest at heart even
when it was bad advice.  Also they had to learn to live with the results
and often their future advise took that fact into consideration.  ;-)

 NB> number of things where he meant well, but didn't really know me as 
 NB> well
 NB> as he thought he did.

Understood.  Speaking as a father of daughters I can relate to his position.

 NB> Depends on your definition of sneaky, perhaps... :)  Not showing 
 NB> one's
 NB> whole hand is an asset in many situations (and most games, of 
 NB> course). 

I've noticed that about dealing with women.  What I call sneaky they tend
to call smart.  Interesting no?

 NB> A wise person learns where caution is called for... and how to 
 NB> procede
 NB> in such a way as to not raise hackles by utilizing said caution.  :) 

Something like that.

 NB> As at the start of this message, it would appear we are using 
 NB> different
 NB> definitions of respect.  Or, at least, talking on two different 
 NB> levels.

Perhaps but I don't think we are.

Life is good,
Maurice

--- Msged/LNX 6.2.0