> I know at least one couple that had the big show wedding that the
mothers
had always dreamed of.  Smiled a lot and flew to Maui for the honeymoon.
On
Maui, they had a really neat little wedding on top of a sea cliff with a
hang loose sort of preacher and then were grabbed by the local beach
"bums"
and dragged off to the local hangout for an impromtu (sp?) reception.
They
still consider that their real wedding . . .
>
Friend of mine got married (her first, his second) wearing a very pretty
"normal" dress, him in a suit - sort of like what you'd wear to Easter
services at your church. They had their minister perform the ceremony in
her
parent's back yard -- and they expressly informed the guests to be
comfortably dressed because the reception was a bbq :) The invitation
also
said something along the lines of  -We've been blessed with so much, so
in
lieu of gifts please make a donation to any of the charities below, or
to a
cause close to your hearts- wording is probably off, but I thought the
way
they did it was really cool.

Anyway -- it was *the* best wedding I've ever been to! *Everyone*
thought
so, and my friend and her new husband (a shy kinda guy) were relaxed and
genuinely having fun. (which, near as I can tell, is not usually the
case)

I do NOT get the entire wedding juggernaut thing... seems to me such a
momentous event should be...well... not a circus.

I *really* do not get the whole three ring circus wedding thing. To me
it's an intensely private moment - you're making a vow before God to
change your entire life, way of thinking and being, and vowing this to
one other person. The parade and palavah deal just cheapens it all to
me. If they want a parade and circus, why do they have to attach it to
something that is so private and intense? I don't understand. Doug and I
slipped off (to my mother's fury, my mother-in-law's bemusement, and my
grandmother's amusement) and had a private wedding that meant a lot to
me. Then we had a party at my uncle's house.
A party afterwards that goes on for days I understand. Big celebration,
good. Making a circus of the vows, not good. I don't do weddings. I go
to receptions and give congratulations, but I stay away from the circus.
All of our kids had quiet, pleasant, sincere weddings, all but three of
them in Doug's back yard under the willow tree by the stream, with the
trees decorated with little fairy lights. The two older girls had their
weddings before Doug and Gwen got that house, and Richard has his
wedding in a hunting lodge on a mountainside. No circus, though. Just
family (which is a huge crowd) and close friends

Did anyone else here see the Dr. Phil show with the woman who wanted to
spend 48 thousand dollars on her wedding? (flying in dozens of a rare
rose
from God knows where... most expensive rose in the world)  Her fiance
had
like 2k in the bank, and she was wanting him to take out a loan to pay
for
this thing... Dr. Phil looked at him and said "You're going to *love*
me"
and then basically asked if she was out of her mind  It was a riot :)

No, but I would have enjoyed it. What I would have said to the couple
is, "If she's this unrealistic about spending now, what's she going to
be like later?" I would have strongly suggested financial counseling to
them, so that he could have had a chance to either prepare himself for a
life of misery and debt, or back out, and she would have had a chance to
learn a bit of reality before she was faced with realities she couldn't
handle (like a husband that gave up and left her, or huge debts, or
years of fighting while he tried to maintain a budget that kept them
afloat and she tried to spend more than he made.)

Laurie reality bites Phoenix


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