-=> Quoting Maurice Kinal to Nancy Backus on 12-07-06  07:58 <=-

 NB>> I was, of course, referring to the external, probably unresolvable,
 NB>> conflict that one tries to avoid.
 MK> I think that part is unavoidable unless one goes off to be a hermit
 MK> but that would be a tad too dramatic of a fix methinks.
 NB>> defuse some of that internal conflict by removing one's self from 
 NB>> being directly roiled.
 MK> I am getting better at that although I am not convinced that is a good
 MK> thing or a sign of becoming too indifferent.

In both cases, of course, it depends a lot on the circumstances.  Some
external conflict can be avoided merely by not saying what comes to
mind... of course that leads to more internal conflict... ;/  And,
agreed, there is a balance that needs to be achieved in both cases
between connection and disconnection.  Becoming a hermit or too
indifferent go too far in one (the latter) direction, being in constant
turmoil inward and/or outward is too far in the other.

 MK>> air actually led to good friendships.  Not often but a few
 MK>> times it was worth it. 
 NB>> Also, both sides there would be left with a new-found respect for 
 NB>> each other...
 MK> Right.  Weird eh?  Pretty rare that is for sure but definetly turned
 MK> out for the best despite not knowing that would happen at the time. 
 MK> Unreal what life throws at you every now and then without any warning.

Yeah... both for good and for bad...   Encourages riding out the
storm, at least, in case something much better comes of it after all! :)

 MK> Or just indifferent at the moment of meeting and either one or the
 MK> other happens.  Most times it usually doesn't go one way or the other
 MK> and life just goes on without any real feelings one way or the other. 
 MK> I suspect that is the most common with most people.
 
Quite possibly.  :)

 NB>> Those that manage to totally lose my respect will find it extremely
 NB>> hard to regain it, if they even care.  (Generally those that DO manage
 NB>> it really don't care.)

 MK> I don't know.  I suspect in that case it is best not to lose any sleep
 MK> over it.  I doubt much can be done one way or the other in those cases
 MK> other then to avoid situations with those people that potentially could
 MK> have real meaning.  Life is too short to lose too much sleep over
 MK> things that can't be turned around for the better.

My point was more that it takes an awful lot of their doing to totally
lose my respect...  but, yes, by then I'm* not losing much sleep over it
either... at least not for long.  The only problem would be if this is a
person that one must continue to have contact with, so that there would
be a constant reminder of the situation... like a spouse of a beloved
family member, as an example... 

Of course, since I don't go around proclaiming that I've lost respect
for a person, it's quite possible that it might go totally unnoticed
except by the truly perceptive (and that, unlikely to be that person,
but possibly by others who know me and the situation well enough).  :)

ttyl         neb

... Opportunities are often things you hadn't noticed the first time...

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