Re: Re: How d'yall deal with the bad memories?
  By: Alan Ianson to Damon A. Getsman on Sat Nov 14 2015 11:41:07

 AI> Yep, I have done that too. It's not bothersome anymore though, maybe
 AI> it's because enough time has passed.. I have let go of things I don't
 AI> want or need and embrace the things I do.

  I have a hard time even seeing that as being a potential outcome for me.  I
don't let myself give in to hopelessness because of it, but I've had it for as
long as I remember.  Creeping in close to 40 now, I can't see any sort of major
psychological revolution that is going to suddenly make this path easier for
me.  Then again I can recall that some of it used to keep me awake on a regular
basis, say back in the middle school years.  Maybe some of it has gotten a
little bit better.  If so, it's too gradual for me to really notice.  If I'm
actually making improvements as I go, it's amazing that I've made it this far
(at least to me).  My life has been...  well far too interesting, I suppose, if
you're familiar with the curse about an interesting life.

 AI> I love myself, life and the beautiful people around me. There are
 AI> unpleasant things too that would like to enter my life.. but I have no
 AI> time for any of that.

  I don't right now.  That is a major problem for me, and always has been.  I
mean I've felt love and attachment, but I was raised in an environment where
love and attachment were very much mixed with negatives.  At some points in my
life I've said that love is worse than hate, because at least when people you
hate wrong you, you can simply walk away.
  Anyway this part of my issue is why I take the medications.  Now that I've
finally met my biological family, as well as having always known my adoptive
family (at least since about 2 weeks old), I've found that depression and
bipolar disorder run all up and down that side of the family.  I guess I
should've prefaced by saying that I only know the maternal side of my family,
but whatever.
  I know that the solution is not solely drugs, which is why I opened this
thread up about dealing with these kinds of things.  My only fear is that the
solution that will work is what I'm doing, which is not working fast enough for
me at the age I'm at now.  :)

 AI> I wanted to quote more but mystic seems to have lost it's quote buffer..

  Uh oh.  Looks like it's time to switch to an external editor or QWK packet
reader.  ;)
  Best wishes.

  -D

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