From: Velvet Elvis 

On Fri, 30 Mar 2007 10:35:07 -0700, "Unsaved White Trash"
 wrote:

>
>"St. Jackanapes"  wrote in message
>news:qg2mc.riu.17.1{at}news.alt.net...
>>
>> In alt.flame.jesus.christ, Unsaved White Trash said...
>>
>>>
>>> "Father Haskell" 
wrote in message
>>> news:1174855330.246711.214920{at}b75g2000hsg.googlegroups.com...
>>> > On Mar 11, 1:38 am, St. Jackanapes
 wrote:
>>> >> In alt.flame.jesus.christ, the sobriety of Father Haskell was
>>> >> questioned
>>> >> when they said...
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >> > On Mar 10, 6:40 pm, St. Jackanapes

>>> >> > wrote:
>>> >> > > In alt.flame.jesus.christ, the sobriety of
Father Haskell was
>>> >> > > questioned
>>> >> > > when they said...
>>> >>
>>> >> > > > On Mar 10, 12:08 am, St. Jackanapes

>>> >> > > > wrote:
>>> >> > > > > In alt.flame.jesus.christ, the
sobriety of Father Haskell was
>>> >> > > > > questioned
>>> >> > > > > when they said...
>>> >>
>>> >> > > > > > On Mar 6, 7:12 pm, St. Jackanapes
>>> >> > > > > > 
>>> >> > > > > > wrote:
>>> >> > > > > > > In
alt.flame.jesus.christ, the sobriety of Father Haskell
>>> >> > > > > > > was
>>> >> > > > > > > questioned
>>> >> > > > > > > when they said...
>>> >>
>>> >> > > > > > > > On Mar 5, 4:28 am,
St. Jackanapes
>>> >> > > > > > > >

>>> >> > > > > > > > wrote:
>>> >> > > > > > > > > In
alt.flame.jesus.christ, the sobriety of Father
>>> >> > > > > > > > > Haskell
>>> >> > > > > > > > > was questioned
>>> >> > > > > > > > > when they said...
>>> >>
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > On Mar
4, 11:19 pm, St. Jackanapes
>>> >> > > > > > > > > >

>>> >> > > > > > > > > > wrote:
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > > In
alt.flame.jesus.christ, the sobriety of e was
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
questioned when they
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > > said...
>>> >>
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
> "St. Jackanapes" 
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > > > wrote in
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
> messagenews:oc14i.cht.17.1{at}news.alt.net...
>>> >>
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
> > Father Haskell vomited up the following vile
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
> > mess...
>>> >>
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
> >> Map searches on all map servers return a
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
> >> street
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
> >> intersection when
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
> >> queried for 5701 Mableton Parkway.  There's
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
> >> an
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
> >> office building of
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
> >> some sort, with an empty parking lot, but
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
> >> that
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
> >> comes up as 5710
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
> >> Mableton.
>>> >>
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
> > I've been offline for a bit, so I'm not sure
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > > > > who
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
> > you're referring to.
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
> > But to guess, are you referring to Dr. Chung's
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
> > imaginary office
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
> > building?
>>> >>
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
> NOPE ! ! ! jackanapes of da pit. He's referring
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > > > to
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
> ur new home
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
> location, just dig about 4000 miles deep, in
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > > > hell.
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > > > :-:
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
> We'll be updating
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
> http://www.voy.com/20630/soon!(-;
>>> >>
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
What am I to do with this homosexual stalker,
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > > Father?
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
Every time I get
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
back home from one of my stressful international
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
business conferences
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > > sit
down at my PC to relax and post in AFJC,
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > > here's
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > > this gay guy
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
harassing me for sick cult sex! He sends me
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > > sexually
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > > propositional
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
emails from his alter-ego "Alice" - and signs me
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > > up
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > > for perverted
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
newsletters. Then, as you notice in his reply just
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
above, he's going to
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > > go
to my forum and post things from "Alice" - he's
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > > got
a really sick
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
homo obsession with me - an online stalker that
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > > I'm
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
afraid - terrified
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
actually - will turn into real world stalking and
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
endanger my loving
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
family and maybe even my job in the publishing
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
industry. What do I do,
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
Father? What is a heterosexual Catholic boy
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > > (lapsed)
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > > do to protect
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > >
himself and family from this electronic terrorism?
>>> >>
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > Have you
discussed this person with the kind
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > Reverend
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > Phred
Felps, perhaps arranging a public meeting
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > between
>>> >> > > > > > > > > > the two?
>>> >>
>>> >> > > > > > > > >  But of course... Mine eyes were open
>>> >> > > > > > > > > but
>>> >> > > > > > > > > I could not
>>> >> > > > > > > > > see! Yes!
They're a proverbial match made in Heaven,
>>> >> > > > > > > > > by
>>> >> > > > > > > > > God! I'll fix
>>> >> > > > > > > > > the two of
them up as a blind date, speaking of
>>> >> > > > > > > > > debilitated eyes, and
>>> >> > > > > > > > > once Rev.
Phred figures out what his date is, Loiodice
>>> >> > > > > > > > > will be off my
>>> >> > > > > > > > > back
permanently - uh, I mean that figuratively, of
>>> >> > > > > > > > > course!
>>> >>
>>> >> > > > > > > > Get 'em both
roaring drunk.  Dress Loidice in a "Little
>>> >> > > > > > > > Bo
>>> >> > > > > > > > Peep"
>>> >> > > > > > > > costume, complete
with sheep.  Felps might never figure
>>> >> > > > > > > > it
>>> >> > > > > > > > out.
>>> >>
>>> >> > > > > > > The only problem with
that is that Phelps might spend all
>>> >> > > > > > > of
>>> >> > > > > > > his time
>>> >> > > > > > > trying to fuck the
sheep, and never get around to
>>> >> > > > > > > cornholing
>>> >> > > > > > > Little Bo
>>> >> > > > > > > Loiodice.
>>> >>
>>> >> > > > > > That always happens when you
mix liquor, Viagra, and Phred
>>> >> > > > > > Felps.
>>> >>
>>> >> > > > > Oh well, even if it doesn't work
out, it will still look good
>>> >> > > > > on
>>> >> > > > > YouTube.
>>> >>
>>> >> > > > You don't say?
>>> >>
>>> >> > > > Someone forge a video, just for the fun of it.
>>> >>
>>> >> > > Can you fuck with videos like you can fuck
with photos using
>>> >> > > Photoshop?
>>> >> > > Is there something like Videoshop out
there? My entry into the
>>> >> > > video
>>> >> > > world came to a screeching halt about a
year ago when my JVC
>>> >> > > GR-DVM75
>>> >> > > (http://tinyurl.com/35m84e) refused to take
the digital tape into
>>> >> > > its
>>> >> > > belly. And of course I don't have the cash
to get it fixed.
>>> >>
>>> >> > A shaky, out-of-focus camera worked fine for
Faces of Death.
>>> >>
>>> >> It sure as hell did. That crappy video with faked
cannibal scenes made
>>> >> fucking millions. If I'd had the video cam back then
I could have made
>>> >> much better stuff and outsold those guys. A lot of it was just
>>> >> laughable, but people ate it up!
>>> >
>>> > A lot of National Geographic "Africa
documentaries" were shot
>>> > on the back lots of Hollywood, with the actresses paid extra to
>>> > go topless.
>>> >
>>> they got paid more when their boobies were hanging closest to their
>>> navels.
>>
>> Well, back in those days they didn't have those Howard Hughes designed
>> "lift & separate" Jane Russell bras. In the 20's
they hardly sold what
>> we think of as a bra, did they? They just kinda wrapped some linen
>> material around their tits a few times, making them look flat. Women
>> with huge milk jugs used those corset kinda things with a big shelf
>> welded on to lay the udders upon. Both ways didn't do much to counteract
>> the ever-present force of gravity.
>>
>> So the women of the time, be they naked African Wah-toot-zees of the
>> high savanna or wealthy matronly DAR women of New York high society, all
>> had one degree or another of the breasts tendencies to try and touch
>> their toes. This saved movie producers milk buckets full of cash to use
>> on special effects. All they had to do was raid the Little Nubia section
>> of LA with horsemen wearing gorilla costumes and tossing nets. These
>> National Geographic documentaries were a great relief to puberty
>> tormented male teens the world over ever since.
>
>My father always had a Nat Geog and a copy or Scientific American on the
>back of our toilet.
>Porno was hard to come by (awww, a pun) and he was a brainiac.

Yep.  The best I could come up with, until I found my stepfather's stash,
was the latest copy of National Geographic, with another load of African
tube-sock titties.

--
You found God?
If nobody claims him in 30 days,
he's yours.

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