Hey Nancy!

Nov 07 21:19 06, Nancy Backus wrote to Maurice Kinal:

 NB> That is where the decision to show respect comes into play.  If it 
 NB> were
 NB> fake, chances are that it would only repel, not encourage.  It might
 NB> take some effort on the profferer's part to find some aspect, no 
 NB> matter
 NB> how small that truly is deserving of some sort of respect, and start
 NB> there.

So how long and how much damage is should one tolerate before reverting to
a nonrespectful mode?  The problem is that often automatic respect simply
given due to someone's position often leads to much misery which could have
been avoided if one where more questioning from the start.  The School of
Hard Knocks has taught me that far too often automatic respect leads to the
paved highway to Hell.  Perhaps a benefit of a doubt while being wary is a
better option then automatic respect simply due to position.

 NB> "shoudda, woudda, coudda"..

Right.  I am trying to avoid that now.  In order to do so I have found that
I cannot make any assumptions about anything, nevermind respect for others.
 However there are people I do respect but it is never automatic anymore no
matter what other's think.  I could give recent examples but I'd rather not
as those have led too many to the wrong path even though they think
everyone should be on that path.  Pointing these out would only lead to
further grief without solving anything.

 NB> But the reality usually is that you did 
 NB> the
 NB> best you could with the situation as you saw it.

Not really.  The real problem with those is I didn't listen to my instincts
and instead listened to others that everything was okay.

 NB> Hindsight does give 
 NB> a
 NB> greater clarity to things,

For sure.

 NB> the past so as not the REPEAT the same error(s) of judgement.  Save 
 NB> the
 NB> guilt for the things you really did intentionally do, or omit to do.

Such as listening to others who for whatever reason I was supposed to respect?

 MK>> I've seen that happen.  Amazing when it does happen.

 NB> Yes.   :)

Obviously a sign of a very strong will.  Those people are impressive and
definetly deserving of respect.  No?

 NB>>> I think it is possible to combine Wary with Respect.

 MK>> I think that is called Sneaky.  :-)

 NB> Nah... it's called Wise, generally...  

What is the difference?  A rose by any other name?

 NB> One can have/show respect for another, without blindly opening one's
 NB> self to being taken advantage of, or worse.

That would be very difficult to successfully pull off methinks.

Life is good,
Maurice

--- Msged/LNX 6.2.0