-=> Quoting Maurice Kinal to Nancy Backus on 10-19-06  14:04 <=-

 MK>> Hm.  Funny how respect works.
 NB> True enough.  I suspect that there are different definitions of 
 NB> respect out there, just like there are for love.
 MK> I am not sure about that.  Perhaps it is more of a uncertainty about
 MK> whether the feelings are genuine.

Actually, I tend to believe that there really is a difference between
what is meant by the different uses of the term.  And that perhaps we'd
do better if there were different words to use in each case so we
wouldn't get them as confused with each other.  And, as well, that there
is at least some validity to each of the various uses.

 NB> I keep hearing on the one hand that "you have to EARN my
respect"...
 MK> I think there is truth there.  For the mostpart it isn't an automatic
 MK> thing and probably requires some nurturing.

Yes, a certain amount of respect needs to be earned.  And, by the same
token, respect can be lost, when someone does things for which one can't
respect.  I accept this use more on the basis of the fact that some
people DO earn my respect by what they do (or don't do, in some cases). 
But I usually hear that one from those who are making tacit excuse for
their disrespectful behaviour.

 NB> but on the other hand "everyone deserves equal respect".
 MK> Just the basics in a social setting or within someone else's space.  I
 MK> think within a family it has to go a tad beyond that but again it has
 MK> to be nurtured or it just doesn't happen.  In the case of children
 MK> respect is an extremely tricky business but I think it is doable.
 
The reason I think that this is a different use of the word is that I
feel it refers to a different level, possibly also a different kind, of
respect.  It's a matter of seeing that everyone, no matter how large or
small, young or old, high or low, has value, simply because they ARE. 
It doesn't mean accepting everything that they do, or say, or their
value system either.  It's just a basic level of respect that anyone
whatsoever should be given.  I think that the family sense of it is more
part of the next category, in most respects.

 NB>  And then there's the respect due one because of their position (ie
 NB> boss, president/king/queen, parent, etc).
 MK> I have absolutely no respect for that.  That is a forced thing for the
 MK> mostpart and has little to do with actual respect.  Society as a whole
 MK> seems to feel a need to demand that and I honestly don't see why when
 MK> most times it is false.  Sometimes it works but then that is usually
 MK> because whoever is in charge actually deserves respect.  However that
 MK> is rare from my observations.  As a rule it is a forced issue and not
 MK> real. 

What I'm talking about is still a fairly basic respect.  I agree with
you that many in positions of authority do not deserve the kind of
respect that they try to demand of their underlings... that there is a
sense here too where they should be doing/saying/etc that that commands
respect, rather than being just given it automatically.  Perhaps I
should have expanded my "for instance list" to include spouse and
children as well... there is more than just one sense in which one's
place/position should entitle to a certain type of respect.  And I
certainly don't think that just because I give respect of position to
someone that it means I have to agree with their actions or policies, or
that I can't openly disagree with them.  But I should be respectful in
my dealings with them, not dissing them.  Of course, in some sense that
applies no matter who I am dealing with, which gets back to the number
two sense of the word.  :)

 NB> Sure sounds like different definitions at play here... 

I could probably add even more different senses of it, but I think I'll
not, at least for now... :)

I'm breaking the original message into two parts for replying, more next
message...  

ttyl       neb

... Straighten up the house? When did it become tilted?

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