-=> Quoting Maurice Kinal to Nancy Backus on 12-03-06  15:54 <=-

 NB>> they will get it.  Also agreed that there are legitimate ways to side
 NB>> step an incipient situation (and that that can make conflict less
 NB>> likely).

 MK> Internally the confict is already there but probably best to keep it
 MK> there if possible.  

I was, of course, referring to the external, probably unresolvable,
conflict that one tries to avoid.  But I guess as well to being able to
defuse some of that internal conflict by removing one's self from being
directly roiled.

 MK> Not always though and sometimes it is best to clear the air with
 MK> the one who created the internal conflict.  That sometimes can work. 
 MK> Offhand I can think of a few times in the past where clearing the
 MK> air actually led to good friendships.  Not often but a few
 MK> times it was worth it. 

That, I would think, is actually a different situation.  :)  There, the
conflict is defused by resolution... a much more productive scenario. :)
Also, both sides there would be left with a new-found respect for each
other... if not full-blown, at least incipient.  I suspect that what
sets things up for clearing the air is the realization or at least the
suspicion that the other is probably due respect, even though at the
moment it's rather hard to FEEL it...  :)

 NB>> I may be feeling about them inwardly.  And, as above, I'm not above
 NB>> finding ways to avoid needing to deal with people where inward and
 NB>> outward don't match up well...  ;)

 MK> I know that feeling.

I imagine so!    It occurred to me over the weekend, that, given the
fact that I try to show a basic level of respect to anyone I come in
contact with, especially when just meeting them (giving the full benefit
of the doubt, so to speak), that for me it's less true that "you have to
EARN my respect", and more true that "you can LOSE my
respect".   Those
that manage to totally lose my respect will find it extremely hard to
regain it, if they even care.  (Generally those that DO manage it really
don't care.)

ttyl        neb

... No man is so rich that he can afford to lose one friend!

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