Hey Nancy!

Dec 04 11:32 06, Nancy Backus wrote to Maurice Kinal:

 NB> I was, of course, referring to the external, probably unresolvable,
 NB> conflict that one tries to avoid.

I think that part is unavoidable unless one goes off to be a hermit but
that would be a tad too dramatic of a fix methinks.

 NB> defuse some of that internal conflict by removing one's self from 
 NB> being directly roiled.

I am getting better at that although I am not convinced that is a good
thing or a sign of becoming too indifferent.

 MK>> air actually led to good friendships.  Not often but a few
 MK>> times it was worth it. 

 NB> That, I would think, is actually a different situation.  :)  There, 

Not all that common that is for sure.  It has happened though and turned
out to be a good idea for a change.

 NB> Also, both sides there would be left with a new-found respect for 
 NB> each
 NB> other...

Right.  Weird eh?  Pretty rare that is for sure but definetly turned out
for the best despite not knowing that would happen at the time.  Unreal
what life throws at you every now and then without any warning.

 MK>> I know that feeling.

 NB> I imagine so!    It occurred to me over the weekend, that, given the
 NB> fact that I try to show a basic level of respect to anyone I come in
 NB> contact with, especially when just meeting them (giving the full 
 NB> benefit
 NB> of the doubt, so to speak), that for me it's less true that "you have 
 NB> to
 NB> EARN my respect", and more true that "you can LOSE my
respect".   

Or just indifferent at the moment of meeting and either one or the other
happens.  Most times it usually doesn't go one way or the other and life
just goes on without any real feelings one way or the other.  I suspect
that is the most common with most people.

 NB> Those
 NB> that manage to totally lose my respect will find it extremely hard to
 NB> regain it, if they even care.  (Generally those that DO manage it 
 NB> really
 NB> don't care.)

I don't know.  I suspect in that case it is best not to lose any sleep over
it.  I doubt much can be done one way or the other in those cases other
then to avoid situations with those people that potentially could have real
meaning.  Life is too short to lose too much sleep over things that can't
be turned around for the better.

Life is good,
Maurice

--- Msged/LNX 6.2.0