G'morning Heather, 

 HL> Never heard that one either. LOL

Things that happen in real time are sometimes much better than the 
best of jokes...

Take the once-Chief RSM of Sandhurst in Kent, England, where the 
brightest of Commonwealth officer-cadets are still `inducted' into 
Army life in ways that make West Point a holiday camp.

His welcoming patter included such gems as...

"My name is JC Lord.
The initials stand for `Jesus Christ'.
`E ... is Lord ... Up There...
I ... am LORD ... Down Here !

While you are an `Officer Cadet at Sandhurst,
`Ewe will address Me as `Sir'...
I will address `ewe as `Sir'...
`EWE ... WILL ... MEAN ... IT !

If `Ewe play ball with me,
`Hi will play ball with `Ewe.
Remember ... `at `all times....
`Its MY BALL...

Winning a Sword of Honour from there guaranteed graduates very 
high rank in later careers ... just for surviving well....

    HL> ... but I bet the RSM heard it and smelt it.

And from incredible distances ...  I remember a Corps Comference 
out at Papakura where a small group including the Colonel of the 
Sigs Regiment, the Director of Signals and other worthies wandered 
deep in conversation back across a parade ground towards lunch.

We were all brought up short by the stentorian admonitions of 
Regimental Sergeant Major McCullough (aka `The Screaming Skull') 
from somewhere up around the Ardmore hills..."Ewe gentlemen will 
NOT shamble on MY Parade Ground  ... BY THE RIGHT, `Eft, Right, 
`Eft, Right, `Eft..."

What a nice, tight little squad of marchers his gentle guidance 
created out of chaos...

Indeed, there are few enterprises in human society that cannot be 
blessed by the presence of a kindly RSM....

:-))

--- Maximus/2 3.01