Andre Lieven wrote:
> Mark Sobolewski (mark_sobolewski{at}yahoo.com) writes:
> > In article ,
> >  dg411{at}FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Andre Lieven) wrote:
> >>  (mark_sobolewski{at}yahoo.com) writes:
> >> > greg1...{at}yahoo.com wrote:
> >> >> bluesmama wrote:
> >> >
> >> >> > guy's limits were, as far as how far he was willing to
compromise
> >> >> > himself in order to (possibly)laid? Frankly, a
guy I can walk
all
> >> >> > over is not a guy I'd want to date twice,
> >> >>
> >> >> Ah hah!!  Such refreshing honesty.
> >> >
> >> > Not totally.
> >>
> >> Indeed.
> >>
> >> > She says she didn't want wimps but at the same time wanted
> >> > guys who caved into her demands.
> >> >
> >> > Does this make a lot of sense?
> >>
> >> No, but neither does the ideological underpinning of sexist
> >> "bluesmama"'s views make any more sense.
> >
> > Let's give her some credit however: Her views work.
>
> Do they ? If they do, is that why female pop writer after pop
> writer, from Susan Reimer to Maureen O'Dowd, is bitching about
> men not " following the Rules " ?

Can you read ahead a bit?  I said at least for her in a
limited fashion.  Not necessarily for every woman.

This brings up the point that American women live in an incredibly
elitist world: It doesn't really matter if other women are happy,
or most other men, or the slobs they don't care about.  It's just
their tiny universe that matters.

> All that suggests to me that, while one might find occasional
> women who believe that it works, they're either in the minority,
> and/or not in the game.

See above.  Their attitude is that they're "special" and therefore
it doesn't matter if they're in the minority or not.  Heck, they
probably even prefer it that way.

> > At least for now.
> >
> > She's got her fantasy world, it works for her, and I respect it.
>
> Why ? Why would one respect living in a fantasy world ?

If it makes them happy, why not?  It's when the fantasy implodes
that it's not worth respecting.

> > The first or second guy who came along with the Joe
> > "sensitive but self-confident" act won her heart.
> > After a dozen dates
> > or so, such women quickly start to doubt the sincerity
> > of anything they do.  Is the "sensitive" act fake
> > or is it the "confident" part?  She may not have had
> > time to develop suspicians.
>
> Agreed. And, the flip side is that many younger men may not have
> had time to develop their own suspicions.

Which makes it interesting, doncha think, if these poor
bastards divorce later and hit the dating market after
a long absence and chase after women who've been
through the dating wringer?  Yikes!

> True. Often she rewards no one but herself. Such women have
> the same person to blame for their aloneness.

But bluesmomma isn't alone and that's why I'm respecting her
fantasy.

I gave up dating the 30 something clock tickers because
these women didn't carry around fantasies by then.  They
carried around BAGGAGE.  They wanted to punish the next
poor bastard for all the things these jerks had done
or lied about (real or imagined) and then punish the jerk
after that for the jerk who didn't pick up her bags
beforehand.

> Indeed. The key point is that, if the start of any relationship
> is done by methods that *deny* honesty and open communication,
> the situation will never get any better than that.

Now you're sounding a bit geeky (ok, we're both geeks)

I think it is possible for a relationship to mature into
a more open and honest one.  Also, maybe it doesn't kill
a relationship if the man BS's the woman about the first
date or pretends to enjoy watching girl films with her.
Maybe a little dishonesty is good and healthy for most
couples.

> Ouch. One promo for Dr. Phil's " teaching idiots how to
> raise their kids " had a guy who bought a 6 year old a cell
> phone. Reason ? " The other kids had them. " Feh.

This depends upon the strength of the parent.  All things
equal, if the parent didn't buy the cell phone, the
child would then be singled out as a "loser" and his
self-esteem would suffer.  It's ugly, but that's reality.

If a parent is going to have a child stand out, then
he should do it in a way that gets the child ahead of
the game.  Don't just buy him a cell phone.  Buy him
a PDA! :-)  That will put him on top of the alpha
pack.

> > Nearly all the women I know tend to move much less often
> > than men and will stay in a rotten neighborhood or
> > with their families because it's comfortable to them.
>
> The same can be said of their jobs, and thats a major reason
> for the " wage gap ". Women often choose non cash comforts
> over more cash.

Well, they choose the more cash in their relationsships than
man by comparison.

regards,
Mark Sobolewski



--- UseNet To RIME Gateway {at} 3/24/05 12:46:05 PM ---