bluesmama wrote:
> > > It might be more natural, but it seems more fair to me that the
> > person
> > > who initates the date pay, whether that is a man or a woman, and
> > though
> > > it doesn't happen as often (because women have been socialized to
> > wait
> > > for a man to ask
> >
> > This would be similar to men who are slobs and have their
> > wives who work 50 hours a week outside of the home clean
> > up after them argue:
> >
> > "Hey!  Us men have been socialized to have you gals clean up
> > after us!  I'm a gentleman!  Burp!"
> >
> > In other words, it's doesn't take much "socialization" for people
> > to realize they enjoy being mooches, not taking emotional
> > risks, and dropping their socks on the floor for others
> > to clean up.   If all of your friends jumped off bridges
> > and started smoking would you...?
>
> A reason is not an excuse, it's just a way to understand why people
do
> things the way they do. Men and women both have contradictory social
> expectations placed on them - and as a woman I've had to struggle
with
> conflicting ideas like be strong, but feminine because a man needs to
> feel like a man;

Sometimes it's hard to be a woman...

Yes, it's the MAN'S fault that he has to "feel like a man"
when you choose him precisely for those traits.  :-)

> be intelligent, but not too intelligent because it
> might be threatening; be sexy but not too sexy because then you're
> trashy, but don't be too demure because then you're a frigid
librarian
> type, and so on. Similar to the codes men struggle with, or at least
> that seems to be accurate from the reading I've been doing - those
> restrictive masculine and feminine "codes" society imposes.

Yes, it's so hard for women who want to have it all to
make those things work because "society" tells them.
For example, I want lots of money but to not work very
hard because "society" creates those expectations in me.

There are plenty of men around who aren't threatened whatsoever
by strong women.  But then again, those guys are not going
to be swimming through moats to rescue "liberated" women.

> Excuse me, I've got to go have a smoke before I jump off that bridge.
> ;-)

Forget the smokes and bridges.  Let's look instead at the single
struggling mothers with bastard babies, aging spinsters on prozac,
women who are stressed from working a full time job and
managing a household, dealing with their weight problems
from eating at restaurants, etc.

It's not society or men who force fed these women their problems,
it's all the choices feminists insisted upon women having.
You got the vote and you couldn't make up your mind.
It's as simple as that.  You "struggle" with your own
indecisiveness.

Pardon me, I'm now thirsty because I didn't get up to grab
a drink because I was writing to you.  That's YOUR fault!

regards,
Mark Sobolewski



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