The New Good Wife's Guide, Revised for March, 2005.


1. Have the fridge stocked with beer and sandwich fixin's, for when he gets
in... Don't try and make his mind up for him what he wants to eat. He'll
figure it out.


2. Don't take a shower before he gets home! If you do, there's always the
chance that you can run down the hot water - a nice hot steamy shower is
often what anyone freshly in from a long hard day at work really wants.


3. Ask him how his day went. Be prepared to listen to alot of grief, but
it's good to let him vent if he needs to. Get him a beer, while you are at
it.


4. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the
house before he gets home.


5. Swiffer the house


6. If you are lucky enough to HAVE a fireplace, the best thing to do is
stuff a hibachi in the firebox and throw a half bag of briquettes on and
suprise him with an indoor barbecue on the first rotten cold day of the
fall. If you live in an older building with fireplaces and apartments in it,
you can drive the neighbors insane with the delicious aroma.


7. If you have them, clean the kids and give them some quiet playtime when
he gets home.


8. Be happy to see him.


9. Get him a beer.


10. Ask him how his day was... Better he vents first, so you can get equal
time later, if something dire has come up.


11. Enjoy your time alone while he's at the pub.


12. Your goal: Make the house a sanctuary from the day's hassles.


13. Don't bitch at him first thing through the door. Give him time to vent
first.


14. Let him stay out all night. Be mindful that when he does get home, he's
probably going to be incredibly drunk or hung over. Leave two aspirins on
the counter with a glass of water and let him deal. Get a nice nights sleep
and hog the whole bed while he's not in it.


15. If he's really trashed, aim him for the sofa. Put a small garbage can
nearby him, in case he pukes.


16. Cover him with the ugly afghan his mother crocheted for him. Remind him,
he may want to take the aspirins so he'll feel better later on...


17. Don't ask him anything, let him tell you. He'll probably feel so guilty
about your saccharine nice treatment while he was trashed, he'll apologize
in the morning, and swear never to dring Jagermeister shots and eat at a raw
oyster bar again.


18. Set the alarm bright and early so he can do it again!



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