Hello Allen.

31 Aug 08 16:52, you wrote to Dads:

     I have a somewhat mixed feeling on child support. Let me say up
front that I am firmly in favor of parents being responsible for their
children. Sadly though it isn't the children that benefit from the child
support game. I pay child support myself. In my case the mother has
stated that my support pays for most of her boyfriend's house payment.
And my child benefits little from the child support. They both work,
they collectably own four vehicles, and each rides a 20,000-25,000US
Harley motorcycle. Yet the child when in the need of clothes, school
supplies, lunch money, school fees, school clothes, Etc comes to me.
I am the father and I love my child very much. My goal is to provide
my child with the best chance for them to be the best that they can be
in life. To not do everything for them but to help and provide for them
do things for themselves the best that they can.

     The mother is very money oriented and looks for ways to aquire
more money when ever possible. If we were talking business here I would
need to compliment her. Recently I had to stop the mother from emptying
the child's savings account claiming that the child owed her the money.
It's a savings account that I setup and deposited all monies currently
in the account.

     From my POV I see the child support as a game that one or both
parents play. It is claimed that the goal of child support is to
support and benefit the child. When if fact that is not what often
times happens. The reality is that one of the parents benefits and
maybe if their lucky the child might see some small benefit too.

     Let me say that sadly for the child there was never any serious
relationship between the parents. I in fact made it clear that I was
not looking for more children. Primarily because IMHO children should
be the result of love and not just sex. And I stupidly believed the
mother's claim that things were ok and not to worry. Being stupid
doesn't make me any less responsible though.

    In my case I requested a DNA test to confirm as there was room
for some doubt. The mother filed for support almost immediately but
the order for support was dependent on the results of the DNA test.

    In the case that you refer to it amazes me that the military can
take money from someone's pay when paternity is in dispute and hasn't
been proven.


 AP> He only dated this woman for three weeks before he was sent over to
 AP> Iraq the first time in 2003 he claims to have had sex with her twice
 AP> and always used a condom... and was VERY careful.

 AP> Now he comes back (and this woman has two other children since his
 AP> with two other men and is currently suing all three for paternity).
 AP> All three of them are military and the military is holding money out
 AP> of his check just because of the pending lawsuit.

 AP> He has submitted DNA last week upon arrival... but money has been held
 AP> out of his check during this entire deployment.  He is the first of
 AP> the three men to come home.

 AP> Now he's home he is without job and they want him to pay his
 AP> "estimated" portion.  From what his Atty is saying that if the DNA
 AP> test comes back "not the daddy" he will get all that money back as
 AP> it's held in escrow pending his challenge.

 AP> We should know next week and I wonder how many others are in this
 AP> boat.

 AP> Allen

 AP> A//en

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Jeff

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