CS> handle it myself.  I told her right away I needed help, but she didnt 
seem 
CS> understand this.  Afterall, she was paying so much for the wedding, she
CS> couldnt 
CS> afford to pay for my gown and apparently couldnt make it herself either.
CS> 
CS> I took a serious lesson from this that i applied when I got married. I 
did 
CS> task my friends with anything at all that they couldnt handle.  For 
clothes
CS> it 
CS> wasnt relevant as we got married at the courthouse.  We just had a party 
CS> afterwards and folks brought a dish.  A list was made of just who was 
bring
CS> what so folks could see and not make 100 cheesecakes and nothing else 
g>.
CS> 
CS> It worked well.  Had a hell of a good party and got lots of 'other stuff' 
w
CS> no pressure to do more than 'enjoy our beginning a new life'.
CS> 
CS> I've always felt sorry for that friend who had a miserable wedding, but I 
CS> learned from it and didnt repeat the mistakes.
CS> 
CS> Here is what I learned:
CS> 
CS> Wedding misery:
CS> 
CS> Require a specific dress pattern (or range) then leave it to the folks to 
p
CS> for it.  (Unless your guests all have a big income, not possible)
CS> 
CS> Make notes on how you are registered with such-and-such upscale china etc
CS> place 
CS> and folks will feel they have to buy just that whjen they cant afford it
Hi Carol:
I don't think we have spoken before.  Welcome aboard.
I know what you mean by wedding misery.  My husband's daughter wanted a 
eally
fancy wedding.  She ended up changing in mid-stream.  She started out by 
wanting the reception at the local elks club, and my DH agreed to pay for the 
costs associated with that-no problem.  Once she found out that he was 
illing
to pay, she then proceeded to change her mind and rented a place at the 
Raddisson.  We ended up spending over $3000, and her mother spent nearly that 
much on her end, for dress, flowers, cake, etc.  Then the kids took a 
caribbian cruise.  So they started out their married life with a large loan 
for the cruise, and wedding related expenses.  Never made much sense to me, 
seeing as how when Glen and I got married, we spent about $600 all 
told-included all clothing, etc.  Glen didn't ask me to chip in on the 
wedding, but I still felt that she went wayyyy overboard.
Teresa
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