G'morning Heather,

 HL> LOL!
 HL> I never heard that joke before. Good one! Hmmmm... any relation
 HL> to you?

Nah ... that's from Tommy Aitkins's era - he who was pictured in a 
WW1 mudpit says to his whining colleague "If you knows of a better 
hole, go to it".

And, talking of mortars, I have to tell you that the ancient 
dictionary's explanation of "pistil" instills a fear of some 
magnitude when it notes "[L. pistillum, a pestle, a dim. from 
pinso, pistum, to pound, to beat in a mortar; akin pestle, 
piston]";  indeed, just copying it brings tears to the eye...

Much better visions fill the mind when recalling the quivering RSM 
inspecting the recruit neatly laid out bed and equipment, 
assaulted by strange and strong odours, screaming affrontedly..
"And what `ave EWE bin using `Er Majesty's Tin `Elmet for, EWE 
disgusting Temporary Hacting Citizen ???"

:-|
 
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