Hello George!

 GWB> Well, enough for now.  Tell the boys hanging around "the old watering
 GWB> holes" that I'm working real hard arranging the latest battle in the
 GWB> War Against Terrorism.  Every time we put on a high-tech pyrotechnic
 GWB> show, we use up a whole lot of stockpiled weapons, and you know what
 GWB> that means.  Yessir!  We're going to give the economy a nice boost,
 GWB> because all those cruise missiles and bombs now need to be replaced!

 GWB> As well, we're going to safeguard Iraqi oil for the average Iraqi,
 GWB> and I'm sure that they'll be grateful enough to sell a lot of it to
 GWB> us.  After all, we don't want to use up all our Texas oil reserves
 GWB> when Texas can be just as prosperous selling beef to McD's and
 GWB> high-tech weapons to our proud military machine!

We interrupt this programme of sustained bombardment for a brief pledge break:

Many of our American viewers watch and enjoy quality television programmes
such as "Operation Desert Shield", "Desert Storm" and
now the sequel "Operation Iraqi Freedom Fries". 

We here at WPBS, the worldwide preventative bombing service very much enjoy
bringing you this sort of quality educational programming which allows
young Americans to learn about science by watching large quantities of
explosives fall on middle-eastern leaders and regimes; potential targets
are selected based on what they might do if we didn't blow them up often
for our viewers.

Unfortunately, producing such quality programming costs money... as much as
$US75 billion just to send the leadership of one country back to kingdom
come.

If every American man, woman and child were to send us just $US300, we
could keep bombing for weeks. We know that's difficult for some of you
homeless folk, but it's for a good, all-American cause so please donate
generously.

As advertising does not pay our costs, we must turn to viewers like you and
ask you to pledge your support in order to keep such fine programmes as
"Operation Bomb Saddam back to Allah" on the air for the
entertainment of you and your family. Every million dollars you pledge to
your local preventative bombing station goes directly to help blow up one
more pesky foreigner on national television before they can become a threat
to these Excited States.

Pledge ten million dollars or more and we'll send you, at no extra charge,
an army or air force camoflage jacket with the Proudly Bombing Saddam
station logo attractively embroidered. Pledge twenty million dollars or
more and we will send you a home video of the entire battle. What's more,
we'll also send you our programme guide with a list of all the countries we
plan to bomb next.

So call your local Please Bomb Saddam battle station and make your pledge -
every million dollars counts, and by supporting your local affiliate you
are making a contribution to your community by sending proud gun-happy
Americans overseas to blow up foreigners on national television instead of
leaving them here wreaking mayhem at home.

Remember, we depend not only on the Congress and on the Coalition for
Preventive Bombing for funding - the continued broadcast of all of this
fine quality programming depends on generous contributions from viewers
like you. 

We know you love programming like this and are watching intently (unless
you are Saddam, in which case you should move the television into the
bunker now).

So pick up the 'phone and make your pledge today, or mail it in to us at:
WPBS Worldwide Preventative Bombing Service, Arsenal Street, Wartown NY 13-666 USA

God bless America!

We now resume our regularly scheduled bombing...

--- Preventive Bombing Service