To: Norlist 
From: Amber Thompson 
Reply-To: teroknor{at}yahoogroups.com

From my sister.

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Fw: The English Language
   Date: Sun, 15 Jun 2003 12:24:44 -0400
   From:
     To: "

      WHY ENGLISH IS SO DIFFICULT

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; but the plural of ox
became oxen, not oxes. One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet
the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; yet the plural of house
is houses, not hice. If the plural of man is always called men, why
shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, and I give you a boot, would a
pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn't the plural of
booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the plural would
never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother we
never say methren. Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, but
imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

Some reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English;

1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce
produce. 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse refuse. 4) We must
polish the Polish furniture. 5) He could lead, if he would get the lead
out. 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7) Since
there is no time like the present, he thought it was time
     to present the present.
8) At an Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a
    bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10) I did not object to the
object. 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12) There was a row
among the oarsmen about how to row. 13) They were too close to the door to
close it. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. 15) A
seamstress and a sewer fell into a sewer. 16) To help with planting, a
farmer taught his sow to sow. 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number. 19) Upon
seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. 20) I had to subject the
subject to a series of tests. 21) How can I intimate this to my most
intimate friend? 22) I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in
pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that
quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is
neither from Guinea, nor is it a pig.
Why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce
and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not just one amend? If
you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what
do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats
vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by
truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How
can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a
wiseguy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a
language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you
fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going
on.

If dad is Pop, how come mom isn't Mop?





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