DC>>>> That's another variation that I've never run into!

 SC>>> I temped in family court for about 9 months so I saw all kind of
 SC>>> variations.

 RY>> I know of a case with a friend of mine where the
 RY>> great-grandmother has custody at the moment... good thing too,
 RY>> she's a gem.. she's not too far from my age, but married and had
 RY>> kids young, as did her daughter, as did /her/ daughter... It;s an
 RY>> unusual situation, but it's what's best for the child..

 SC> I do think they *try* to keep the kids in the family somehow rather
 SC> than put them with strangers. I think that could be best too as long
 SC> as they investigate
 SC> the family member they are giving them too.

 SC> From all the horror stories I hear about how foster parents mistreat
 SC> the kids in their care, I would hate to see any kid go into a foster
 SC> home. In that system, the possibility to abuse is there because a lot
 SC> of people go into it for the money they get each month instead of
 SC> their concern for kids. Also, there aren't enough case workers to keep
 SC> track of the kids to make sure they are being treated right.


 DC>>>> Supposedly, I had "joint custody".  That was joke...

 SC>>> That is sad that the courts don't enforce their own orders in
 SC>>> these cases.

 RY>> Sometimes, you have to help them do that. I know that was true in
 RY>> my case..

 SC> In what way?

Once you have acquired those rights, you have to live up to your part and
insist on carrying out them to your best extent. You can't slack, tkae a
weekend off just because you fell like it, if you'r in it for thelong haul,
thrn you keep your side of the deal.

I've seen way too many fathers that are half-assed about visitation, only
doing it when they feel like it, and that does no one any good.

When I had joint custody of my daughter, I made sure I took the time I could
with her (and woring weekends this was not always easy) and also made sure
that I kept on as good a relationship with her mother as I could possibly
have in her best interest.

Not that I'm trying to say that I'm the best dad, as I know I'm not, but... My
daughter thinks I am, and that's what counts :).

Maintaining a good relationship with the other parent is not always easy.
For a long time Katy's (my daughter) mom did not like me and resented me for
making the decision to divorce. That said, and that was 10 years ago, the
first person she called when she had a flayt tire in the rain, was me,
Monday. I can live with that. we're amicable, and that's cool.

In the long run, as Katy's 20, going on 21, it's worked out well, She's a
bright young lady, and very practical. while she does not always make the best
decisions in the world, and currently is learning that actions have
consequenes, at least she knew that concept from a very early age.

I had a stepson that was in foster care (before I got married, and a really
long story) and it did him no good at all. currently he's just getting out of
prison for the umpteenth time.. I think, if he gets arrested one  more time,
he gets branded as a career criminal, and gets the book thrown at him.. On can
only hope, he does not do well with freedom and responsibility, and does do
well in the structured prison environment. Sad to say, but there it is..

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