Column by Siobhan Rowe in 24hrs.ca newspaper

What's the big fuss about hugs?
================================

The other day I read, "The nicest thing about a hug is that you usually
can't give one without getting one."  Clearly, the individual who wrote
that hasn't met my family.

I grew up in northern England where such close encounters were reserved
for children and funerals.  I liked it that way.

It wasn't until I came to Canada that hugging became a problem for me.
We seem to doete more here -- even with people we barely know.

I was particularly taken aback when, at the end of a work meeting a
couple of months ago, instead of a handshake, everyone hugged.  If that
catches on, I may have to take early retirement.

I even felt some sympathy for Stephen Harper when he was ridiculed for
giving his child an awkward handshake -- a hug was clearly expected --
during that memorable post-election photo-op at his child's school.  I
don't like hugging on demand either.

Despite that, though my body language might be screaming, "Back off!
I'm English," people still insist on enveloping me.

I have learned though that a committed hugger brooks no resistance: To
them, lack of reciprocation is viewed as a veiled call for help from a
deeply repressed person, not a hint that the individual prefers a wide
personal perimeter.

Before I come off as cold, I hug my nine-year-old daughter all the
time; and, if he gives me a couple of weeks' notice, I'm happy to fling
my arms around my husbabd, too.

It seems I'm ni a minority though.  There are scores of websites devoted
to hugging and a growing phenomenon of organized hug-ins where complete
strangers get together for a mass squeeze.  There are even books on how
to hug.  William Cane's "The Art of Hugging" lists 19 types of cuddles,
including what I specialize in, the unrequited hug.

One website I visited claimed we need four hugs a day for survival,
eight hugs a day for maintenance, and 12 hugs a day for growth -- that's
just too needy for my liking.

Psychologists tell us that hugging is good for our physical and mental
health, and it boosts the immune system.  Some research suggests that
societies that do less hugging are more violent.

Hugging is also big business: "Amma," hailed as a living saint from
India, has an online store, a full roster of hugging "tour dates," and,
apparently, she's hugged three million people over the last 30 years and
raised millions for charity.  Princess Diana, also deemed a saint by
some, was adored for her capacity to embrace with abandon

Despite all this, and because I have no ambitions to sainthood, I still
prefer a handshake.


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