greg1199{at}yahoo.com wrote:
> bluesmama wrote:
> > greg1199{at}yahoo.com wrote:
> > > mark_sobolewski{at}yahoo.com wrote:
> [...]
> > > Yeah, that gives me a chuckle as well.  Like the woman pretends
to
> be
> > > a modern, liberal, corporate goddess, then tells me she's "old
> > > fashioned" as we approach the restaurant.
> > > [...]
> >
> > No one except the woman in question knows her motivations, but it
> just
>
> Fair enough.
>
> > occurred to me - what if she was using the first date to see what
> this
> > guy's limits were, as far as how far he was willing to compromise
> > himself in order to (possibly)laid? Frankly, a guy I can walk all
> over
> > is not a guy I'd want to date twice,
>
> Ah hah!!  Such refreshing honesty.

Well it's not just a romantic thing, either; I prefer my friends to be
people who have a sensible idea of their own value as people. Men or
women who have an inflated sense of their own worth are often pushy and
domineering, and I dislike that - and men or women who have a deflated
sense of their own worth are whiny and passive and I dislike that, too.


Obviously I'm going to look for special qualities in a romantic partner
(if I was still looking) than in a friend, but those things would be
additional qualities - general emotional health is something ultimately
more important than looks or money or strength, etc.

> > I prefer a man with a strong sense
> > of himself and some firm boundaries. It's hard to have any respect
> for
> > someone who, instead of being assertive (not aggressive, that would
> > turn me off too, unless it was in the right situation, but let's
not
> go
>
> No matter how many women mislead us as to what they want, there will
> always be a few who tell the real story.

Some women (and some men, I imagine) don't always know what they want;
they know what society tells them to want. Good parenting and a strong
sense of moral values (not necessarily tied to religion) help in the
formation of a person who can acknowledge social pressures but not be
bound by them.

> The moral, gentlemen?  Stand your ground.  Be nice to yourself.  Let
> her storm off in a huff.  Eventually, you'll find one who doesn't
storm
> off in a huff, or perhaps one who just wanted to see whether you hold
> yourself in high regard, as you should.

I completely agree. If my husband didn't think he was worth much, it
would be hard for me to do so.

> > there right now) was a passive man. Generally, passive people take
it
> > and take it and then end up surprising everyone by blowing up and
> > getting aggressive.
>
> As they say, "Beware the fury of the quiet man."  Let me digress.
>
> There should be a similar saying.  "Beware the fury of the quiet
men."
> Erin Pizzey noted with great frustration that men don't defend
> themselves.  She should have followed that observation with "yet."
All
> this feminist BS seems to roll off us like water off of ducks, but it
> doesn't.  Every feminazi insult rachets up the tension just a bit.
> Eventually, the beam will fail, and the walls will come down.  Any
> previous definition of "backlash" will be quickly outdated.

Isn't it possible to come to some kind of understanding between men and
women? Though that wall should come down, if it's been built between us
instead of around. My husband is my shelter, just as I'm his, though in
different ways. I'm not going to get all new age and start spouting
crap about soul-mates, but shouldn't we be complementing each other
instead of trying to supplant each other as king or queen of the hill?



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