Re: Re: Updates on intermittently transient living for 2 years w/son
  By: Nancy Backus to Damon A. Getsman on Thu Feb 05 2015 16:50:12

 NB> I suspect it's less the transientness in any case.  Some of it may just
 NB> be age-related.  And, as you mentioned (both in the part I snipped and
 NB> below) the video games probably do have somewhat to do with it as well.

  This is a good point that was brought to my attention by people I was
speaking to at his school, as well.  I'd be a million times more comfortable
seeing the innocence fade, as it does around this time significantly, if we
were stable and he had friends to help buffer it, though.

 NB> Having a compatible friend makes a lot of difference... how long were
 NB> you able to stay where he had the friends?

  In Bismarck it was over 3 years.  He was really tight with a lot of
them there.  In Minot, it was...  around 4-6 months.  Here, well he's gotten
together with friends outside of school 4 times.  In six months.  I can't even
bear to think about that.  He's got plenty of friends, it's just that this is
such a yuppie neighborhood that they're all too busy to want to bring their
kids out so that _they_ can have any lives.  I really can't wait to move to a
lower class neighborhood, and that isn't sarcasm in the slightest.

 DAG>> However he suffered a bit of verbal abuse, and definitely neglect,
 DAG>> from my fiancee when I was working, which I later found out about. 
 NB> Sigh... not what he needed, for sure.

  Not at all.  :|  I don't even know what to say about that.  I'm a little
ashamed that it took me so long to realize.  I was really wrapped up in
providing for 5 people and the infatuation.  :(

 NB> And without friends to get out and play with, there is more incentive to
 NB> occupy oneself with the video games, too...  

  Yeah.  I've been slowly putting that to a limit, though.  As the days get
longer here he's going to have time to get out to the park, on the days when
it's not totally cold and wet (kind of rare this time of year here, still). 
I'm going to be doing other things with him, too.  I know this one bit is
within my control and I just can't stand to see it reprogramming him that way. 
:P
  I think I'm just gonna skip to him being able to play it for 3-4 hours a day
on weekends only, and that's it.  If the ADHD behavior problems kick in after
that, I'll talk to him, and if they keep kicking in, that'll be lowered, too. 
Not sure what else I can do.  At least I've got new books on the way for him. 
It'd be really nice if we had space for him to play board games with me and
with his other toys though, too.  Or if, like, his friends with space had
parents that would let him come over.  :P
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