Sue Smith (On 22 Jul 97) was saying to Bob Moylan
 Hi again Sue...
 This thread may be straying a bit from the conference focus but some
 of what we are talking about is an ALTernative to MEDications...
 (If that's too much of a stretch Dia just say so.. (-; and we can try
 to take it to the ADHD conference if Sue has access)
 Now then....
 SS> problem now is the emotional end of it.  He seems to interpret things
 SS> people say sometimes wrongly and he is so sensitive that it really
 SS> crushes him.
 Sounds like he hasn't yet learned how to interpret tone of voice,
 body language and everything else that makes up face to face
 interactions.  He may not be completely processing what he hears -
 imagine a cordless telephone that cuts in and out so you are only
 hearing part of what is being said - leaves tons of room for
 misinterpretation.  Or he could be right and others, especially other
 kids, are just being cruel because he's an easy target and they know
 pretty much how he's going to react....not uncommon and the "butt" of
 these taunts or whatever don't have to have ADD/ADHD to be a target.
 SS> Of course, this has always been one of the problems.
 Hard work on social skills can go a long way toward helping...
 SS> Even just light teasing can set him off as he was taking it
 SS> personally. He has gotten a little better at it but a lot of times at
 SS> school when _mom_ can't be right there it really makes for a long day
 SS> as he will dwell on it all day long.
 Learning the difference between simple teasing and deliberate
 taunting is another difficult thing for these kids (like there isn't
 enough already )-; Some things you can do to help him learn the
 difference include finding out if there is one other kid that he
 really likes, one that doesn't get on his case too much.  Plan some
 simple activity that you know your son enjoys ... ask him if he'd
 like to do whatever it is with ____.  If he says yes invite the other
 child to come over and do whatever ... with your direct supervision
 and/or participation,  it doesn't have to be anything elaborate or
 cost a lot and shouldn't last for more than say 2 hours. What you
 would be doing is giving your son an opportunity to learn how to
 interact with another child one-to-one and more importantly giving
 the other child an opportunity to see that your son maybe, just maybe,
 (from a child's perspective) could be someone that he could be
 friends with.  If successful repeat, with different activities and
 talk about bringing another 2 kids into the picture (threesomes are
 asking for trouble - two  will often "gang up" on the third and the
 "two" are not always the same. If the first effort is not successful
 don't give up ...
 SS> I know kids as a rule can and will be cruel. My son is a little
 SS> on the chunky side
 Been there ... done that ... I was a fat kid, not chunky but FAT;
 didn't get rid of it until high school .. blah... not fun
 SS> and not as quick or good as some
 SS> of the other kids in sports related activities.
 I don't think anyone expects any 8 year old to be a super star, that
 some are better than others is just a fact of life.  You should
 consider exposing your son to all manner of athletic activities until
 he either finds one or two that he really likes and stick to those or
 it becomes apparent to him (and you) that team sports are just not his
 forte. Then I'd start looking at those where the only competition is
 with himself...karate or one of the other martial arts is highly
 recommended by many.
 SS> So needless to say they poke fun at him and that ruins the whole day.
 That's a coaching problem ... I don't tolerate any of my players
 poking "fun" at or badmouthing anyone else's mistakes.  I haven't yet
 met the boy (or girl) who doesn't make a mistake when they're
 learning something new or practicing a skill.
 SS> Even with medication it doesn't  seem to alleviate the pain he feels
 SS> emotionally..
 No that's not the purpose of the meds... and I'd think long and hard
 before putting an 8 year old on _any_ psychotropic for an emotional
 problem without searching out an Alternative answer [see Dia! (-8 ]
 SS> Academically, he is brilliant.
 Many ADD/ADHD children are gifted .. not all .. but many.
 SS> And as long as I can give him the meds
 SS> then he doesn't have too much of a problem concentrating.
 The meds are helping him to focus and ignore all the visual and
 auditory "trivia" that otherwise are much more interesting than a
 boring old teacher .. <-;
 I'm sending you direct netmail on something too long to put in here,
 let me know if you receive it .. you may have to ask your SysOp to
 keep an eye out and forward it to you if you don't have netmail
 access.
 Best... Bob
... He who is not prepared today will be less so tomorrow			
--- PPoint 2.03
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