-> Thanks for the advice.  I have started to read bits and pieces from these
-> two books and they seem very "Ryan-esque", if you know what I mean.  He 
even
-> has a mild tic (he blinks his eyes rapidly and hard sometimes, but not all
-> the time).
Glad I could help:-).  Is Ryan on meds right now for the ADHD?  If he is you
may want to ask the doctor about a med to help with the tics (even if he 
sn't
on meds).
-> Sometimes I think he's just being difficult, because I can't
-> fathom why anyone would say and do the things he does when you care about
-> someone.
Well that is one of the most common problems.  Being ADHD causes impulsivity,
in both actions and words.  Ryan may not mean to say what he does, but it is
out of his mouth, before his brain has really had a chance think it over.
-> But then, that's ME, not him.  He is a very sweet and caring
-> person and he really has BAD self-esteem...I mean REALLY bad.  I think he
-> sometimes seeks "approval" from others by appearing a certain way, but I
-> don't know, maybe I'm analyzing him too much.
That most definately is one of the major side effects of ADHD.  While not
caused directly by the ADHD, it is often found in persons with ADHD.  Alot of
times, people with ADHD are constantly told your bad, or you could do it if 
you
try, or your just plain old stupid.  While in most cases none of them are 
true,
it does leave a lasting effect on the person.  I also struggle mightily with 
my
self esteem, because of the teasing and chastizing I used to receive as a 
id.
This is definately some where, where you may need to call in the help of a
professional since this problem is very hard to overcome.  Persons with ADHD
are very poor self observers, so no you are not over analyzing, he needs to
feel that what he is doing is good,  because he can not tell on his own.
-> UGH!  What do you and your wife do to get past these times and move on?
Well thankfully she is much like you sound.  We had problems because of my 
ADHD
until I had an official diagnosis.  My wife now tries to understand, and 
hile
she may not like some of my habits, she realizes that I don't it on purpose.
Also since being put on a combination of Tofranil and Ritalin, I have been 
able
to stabalize my actions, and give her more attention.  But the best thing 
hat
I can say to you is that if you truly love Ryan you will find a way to work
around his quirks.  Also be involved in his treatment program, and possibly
look up a chapter of C.H.A.D.D. Children & Adults with ADD, it is a support
group that the two of you could attend together.  This could make your
relationship even stronger, since you would be working through this together,
and also showing Ryan that you really care about him.
-> TK> P.S. The driving fast, causes the adrenaline to stimulate the brain,
-> TK> making it easier to focus on the road.  Not that I'm advocating
-> TK> it, but just trying to explain the reason he may be doing this.
->
-> Hmmmmmm, that never occurred to me.  Interesting, but I still think it's
-> dangerous and he needs to slow dooowwwnnnn ;)
Ohh yeah, you are right on this, but this may not be as easy as you would 
like.
Since Ryan has found a way to help him concentrate while driving it may be
tough to slow him down.  I know personally I drive rather fast, just because 

get too bored driving the speed limit or below.  So sorry I can't help you 
ut
much on this one, it's alot easier to know why you do something than to 
hange
it.
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