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echo: dads
to: Steve Wolf
from: Ruben Figueroa
date: 2016-04-10 08:56:00
subject: Daughter Advice

SW> I have recently connected with my 18 year old daughter. We haven't
 SW> seen each other since she was 8 years old. I'm finding myself in
 SW> "Un-Charted Waters". Do I act like her father? A friend? Her uncle?
 SW> What? I don't know much about her so I don't want to overwhelm her
 SW> with questions. How should I procede? Any advice would be greatly

Never been in those shoes.  But I will give you what I think.

1. You have not been involved in her life as her dad, but you are
genetically.
2. Since you haven't been, then talk to her as another adult
3. Only offer guidance, advice and opinions when she asks is receptive to
that and you will know because she will prompt you
4. Be there for here as any adult with someone they care about and make sure
to listen and refrain from trying to fix anything
5. Treat her like a new friend that you want to be on better terms with

Last of all do not set any rules, but you can set boundaries (what/how you
live your life and what you will or definitely will not do)

Don't know if this is any good.  I imagine over time with the development of
your relationship with her you can development a structure of father and
daughter wherein she recoginizes you as such.  But she has to acknowledge
that role, you can't impose it.

Best wishes.

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