From: analda{at}nospam.hiwaay.net (Analda Anglin)

PART THREE: QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

A.  The Witch Quote
  Q.   What does the witch say in the Holy Grail when she is found to
weigh the same as a duck, and therefore found to be a witch?
  A.  She says, "It's a fair cop."   The phrase is thieves' cant for
"you've got me dead to rights," which means that there has been
no entrapment and the person was fairly caught in the act.  The line has
also been used a few other sketches, like "Dead Bishop on the
Landing/Church Police" and "Whizzo Chocolates."

B.  Knights Who No Longer Say NI
Q.      What do the knights who no longer say NI now call themselves?
A.      They are the knights who say (something like) "ecky ecky ecky
ecky pi'tang zoop boing."  What was said on screen during the filming
was completely different from what was written down on the screenplay. The
line was spontaneously ad-libbed.  What is quoted in the net file scripts
of the movie is a phonetic approximation of what was said.  In case you are
curious, the official script for the Holy Grail says "We are now the
Knights who go Neeeow…wum…ping!"

C.  Holy Grail Monks
Q.      What are the monks chanting in The Holy Grail?
A.      The monks chant "Pie Iesu Domine.  Dona eis Requiem."  It is
Latin for "Merciful Lord Jesus.  Grant them rest."  These are
typical Catholic funeral mass phrases.

D.   Life of Brian Name
Q.      What is the name of the wife of the Life of Brian character
Biggus Dickus?
A.      Incontinentia Buttocks.

E.   Flying Circus Theme Music
Q.      What is the theme music for Monty Python's Flying Circus?
A.      The Liberty Bell March by John Phillip Sousa.  The Coldstream
Guards performed the recording used for the series.

F.   Rumors and Truth about Graham Chapman
Q.      Was Graham Chapman homosexual?  Was he an alcoholic?
A.      Yes and yes.  At his peak he was reportedly consuming two
quarts of gin a day.  Chapman stopped drinking later in his life. Q.     
When did Graham Chapman die?  What did he die of?
A.      He died on October 4, 1989, just one day before Monty Python's
20th anniversary.  Graham Chapman died of cancer.  The rumors of him
contracting AIDS are completely false.  They presumably came from the
infamous and yet utterly stupid notion that dead + homosexual = AIDS.

        When this newsgroup first started up, there was a long and
tedious debate about Chapman's cause of death.  A member in London went to
the public records office, got a copy of Graham Chapman's death
certificate, and posted it.

       The primary cause of death was cancer of the larynx (throat)
with secondary cancers elsewhere, including the liver.  Cancer of the liver
is quite common and quite fatal, but it is usually a sign of cancer
elsewhere.  The liver only gets affected in the final stages. Liver failure
will eventually kill you if pneumonia doesn't get you first.

        Death certificates in the UK are required by law to state both
the primary and secondary causes of death.  Graham died of pneumonia as a
result of cancer of the larynx that had spread to many other sites,
including the liver.

        The Associated Press has occasionally printed that Graham died
of AIDS, but that is incorrect.

G.  Deadly Joke
Q.      What is the funniest joke in the world?  What does it mean?
A.      Wenn ist das Nunstuck git und Slotermeyer?  Ja!  Beiherhund
das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

[Taken from "The First 200 Years of Monty Python" by Kim
"Howard" Johnson]:  "It was actually German gibberish,"
Eric Idle explains. "It's written-down gibberish, because we all had
to learn the same thing, yeah, but it's gibberish!  It doesn't mean a thing
at all.  At least, I don't think it does…"

Q.      Isn't some of that actual German?  What's the closet
translation  into English you can make? A.      Yes, some of the words used
were real German words.  Others
were pseudo German-sounding words.  It's mostly nonsense.

[Taken from an article to a.f.m-p by Dirk Rehberger]:  I've seen it, I'm
German, and here's the translation.
        Wenn ist das - If is the (note: "Wann"means "when," which
would make slightly more sense, since it's a question)
        Nunstueck - nun = now, stueck = piece
        git - that's obviously English! (but similar to "gibt" meaning
"gives" or, in the phrase "es gibt," "there is")
        und - and
        Slotermeyer? - Doesn't make sense! (Meyer is a common German
surname)
        Ja! - Yes!
        Beiherhund - hund = dog.  Beiher doesn't make any sense.
Bayer mean Bavarian, but you can't say "Bayerhund" for
"Bavarian dog;" you would have to say "Bayrischer
hund."
        das oder die - the or the (das is neuter, die is feminine)  or
that
        Flipperwaldt - Flipper = pinball, wald = wood/forest
        Gersput - Doesn't make sense!  "Ge" and "ver"
are very common
German prefixes for past participles, but not "ger."

        All in all: If is the now-piece (git) and (Slotermeyer)?  Yes!
(Beiher)dog that or the pinball wood (gersput)!

        Note that your translation may vary, depending on which
transcription you use and how hard you try to make sense of it.

H.   Poofters
Q.      What is a poofter/pooftah, as heard in the Bruces Philosophers
sketch?
A.      Poofter is slang for male homosexual.

I.     Walk This Way
Q.      What is the joke about the phrase "If I could walk that way…?"
A.      If I could walk that way is an old gag, possibly originated by
the Marx Brothers.  Typically someone would walk into a drug store or
pharmacy, ask for an ointment, and be told to walk this way (in other
words, follow me).  The customer would then reply, "If I could walk
that way I wouldn't need ointment."  The phrase "If I could walk
that way" has therefore become a classic and well-known comedy gag.

You also may occasionally see a comic sketch where a person is told
"Walk this way," then walks away in a comical manner (silly
walk!), implying walk the way I am walking instead of follow me.

J.   Four Yorkshire Men Sketch
Q.      What is the sketch of four men sitting around talking about
their childhoods and trying to outdo each other with stories about how hard it was?
A.      That is the Four Yorkshire Men Sketch.  It was originally
written pre-Flying Circus and was never performed in the series.  It was
performed in several stage shows, including Live at the Hollywood Bowl, and
is on Python audio recordings.

K.  Python Email Addresses
Q.      Where can I get the email addresses of the Pythons?
A.      Those email addresses are not given out.  There would simply
be email mailbox overload.

L.  Python Mailing Address
Q.      Where can I write the Python Office?
A.      The Python Office address for official correspondence is The
Python Office, 34 Thistlewaite Road, London  E5 0QQ, England. The office is
unable to respond individually to each piece of mail, including questions
or requests for signed pictures.  Do not send personal items to this
address for they will not be returned.  The office no longer accepts
personal items for signing.

M.  AKA
Q.      What is the "aka" I see some people use when they sign posts?
A.      The letters AKA stand for Also Known As and usually serve as
an alias.  Some posters use the aka as a postscript or a final witty
comment.  It's silly and has nothing to do with what aka really means, but
they are a part of this newsgroup's history and date back to 1991.

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