SUICIDE AMONG THE YOUNG

Madam, - I was slightly disturbed by some of the 20 suggestions
compiled by Angela Macnamara to combat suicide among the young (January
6th).

While it is obvious that the writer has good intentions, and there was
some sound observations in her list, I found no. 14 particularly
objectionable: "Strident feminism is threatening, particularly to many
boys and men". Does this advice suggest that the women should pussyfoot
around their male counterparts, for fear we make them suicidal? Would
it not also be fair to say that strident misogyny is threatening,
particularly to many girls and women? - Yours, etc.,

SARAH KENNY, Buckingham Street Lower, Dublin 1.


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Here's the letter:

SUICIDE AMONG THE YOUNG

Madam, - During all the Christmas hoo-ha we were told that Ireland is
close to the top of the world list for youth suicide. Authorities are
applying themselves to the search for reasons and solutions. Any of us
can put forward our own suggestions.

My 20, necessarily briefly, are as follows:

1. Most parents claim to be "mad about" their children. The word
"mad"
implies foolish, reckless, disorderly, confused. Schools do not
adequately teach "relationships".

2. In dysfunctional homes parents simply do not know what to do about
their own problems, not to speak of those of their children.

3. In affluent homes, everyone in the family has too much of the
unnecessary and too little of the gentle, relaxed family togetherness.
Children are over-indulged, under-loved.

4. In neither type of home is there consistent discipline. Adults are
stressed, overworked and preoccupied. Priorities are often confused.

5. Parents no longer seem to know how to reward or punish
appropriately.

6. Children with inadequate boundaries are confused as to what are true
values.

7. Parents fear to be seen smacking children. Children kick and hit
parents instead.

8. Having to do without anything is seen as intolerable failure;
failure is misunderstood.

9. There is confusion between what is tragedy and what is mere
inconvenience.

10 Alcohol and drugs fill emptiness and lack of esteem for self or
others.

11. TV and media in general are the main educators in the majority of
homes.

12. Teenagers' problems are seen as a "can of worms" better unopened
because parents feel unable to cope with what might emerge. Such "cans"
should be opened.

13. Pain is not seen as a normal part of human life, which it is.

14. Strident feminism is threatening, particularly to many boys and
men.

15. Young people can feel that they have no-one in whom to confide
heart-to-heart.

16. Religion, spiritual and moral values, often poorly taught, are
sidelined, ignored, belittled (at our peril).

17. Hence young men, especially, cannot find any ultimate purpose in
life.

18. Uncaring, bullying and violence follow where meaninglessness
prevails.

19. Relationships with significant adults are often incoherent,
unreliable and inconsistent.

20. It is worth remembering that "if you don't stand for something, you
fall for anything". - Yours, etc.,
ANGELA MACNAMARA, Lower Kilmacud Road, Dublin 14.
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