To:
From: "Steve Oostrom"
Reply-To: trekcreative{at}yahoogroups.com
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Over the past while. I have read the second and third "Dark
Horizons" stori= es, "The Power of the
Vision" and "Temptations in Redemption," and I have some comments.
Possible Spoilers Below
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*
Spoiler Space
*
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*
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Spoilers... you have been warned.
*
Well, the third and fourth stories do advance the overall plot in
"Dark Hor= izon," although I liked
"The Power of the Vision" better (the title sounds almost like a
heavy meta= l album title). This
one was more like a stand-alone story than "Temptations of
Redemption" (I k= eep getting this
title backwords,and it reminds me of a story I wrote many years ago with
th= e title "An
Admission of Submission," an effect of all of those same sounds at the
end = of big words). In
"The Power of the Vision," the overall arc is advanced, but the
story revol= ves around the
decision that Mei-Wan must make, and a decision that she does make by the
e= nd of the story.
One thing about the story, and perhaps about the arc overall, is that it
wa= s impossible to guess
which way Mei-Wan was going. I thought she was going to take the assignmen= t on the
Ravenscroft, but it was not an overpowering feeling. I did get the
impress= ion she was torn
between Jack and the love she had denied herself on a previous posting, and=
actually had myself
rooting for her to go. I don't know why actually. Is there something
abou= t Jack I don't like?
Actually, one thing in the story did puzzle me. Mention was made of the
cr= ew becoming worried
about Jack McCall, and how he was becoming unhinged and seemingly an unfit
= commander.=20=20
As a person not intimately in the mind of McCall like Michael would be, I
s= imply did not see that
in the story. Afterall, the Chamberlain has not done much. The ship is in=
orbit around Yed Post
Four (for some reason, I find that a neat name for a planet) and McCall is
= not really doing a lot.
In addition, given the large crew, it seems that individual members of the
= crew would have very
little contact with the captain. He's even insulated further with his
admi= nistration staff, not to
mention the department heads that most members of the crew would actually
r= eport to. Most of
what the captain would say would be hearsay mostly. I just never got the
i= mpression that is
implied here.
About "The Power of the Vision," I do have some questions. First
of all, w= hy all the shuttle activity
at the planet? Why couldn't people simply beam down? With all of those
sh= ips in orbit, how did the
Skorr manage to start their attack? Maybe they were just science vessels,
b= ut they should have sensors
and should have been able to sound a warning. By the way, are the Skorr a
= Michael-Trek race?
I seem to have heard of them before.
The background of the image with Mei-Wan in Chapter 7, where did it come
fr= om? It almost looks
like something from a video game with all the overstacked women.
As for the "Temptations of Redemeption," this was more chapter of
the story=
than a story in its own
right advancing the arc. One thing I have noticed in this story is all the=
introduction of "big things."
We have this man named Corsica, who appears to be of some unknown race that=
travels the
galaxy and beyond (the Magellanic Clouds!--and I thought only the Athena
ha= d gone there!) and this
mysterious ship that creates stable wormholes, and which has always been
ar= ound. What race is
Corsica? Why all the secrecy about these mysterious races. All of these
"= big things" that are
showing up in "Dark Horizon" are making me a little easy, since
in every st= ory, it seems, a new
surprise jumps out and some new individual is involved in this dark conspir= acy.
Speaking of being involved in the dark conspiracy... in the second story,
t= he G'voda are so mysterious,
so unknown that a member of the Q Continuum has to jump in and give McCall
= a primer on them.
In "Temptations of Redemption," we find that Zachary is in league
with them=
! Somehow, this
doesn't ring exactly true. The implication of the Q conversation was that
= the G'voda are completely=20
new, completely unknown to the Federation. If they already had a spy on
bo= ard the ship, Q might
have mentioned that, hinted at it even, but nothing of the kind. The idea
= seems to be that the
G'voda don't need spies, but of course, if any member of the Chamberlain
cr= ew was this spy, I
could see it being Zachery. He comes across as extremely obnoxious.
When Zachery does run off to the G'voda, the ship appears and the following=
line is used:
"Its hull had wide gaps where glowing energy blazed so brightly it
seemed m= ore a shiny solid
than non-material energy."
I think that Michael intended the opposite, "it seemed more
non-material en= ergy than a shiny
solid."
Overall, not bad efforts, and I think--or maybe I'm hoping--that some of
th= e weaknesses will be resolved
with coming stories in the series. I'm kind of waiting for number five, ac= tually.
Steve
The Universe Unbounded.
Visit "Star Trek: Athena" at http://ussathena.iwarp.com
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Over the past while. I have read
the second and
third "Dark Horizons" stories, "The Power of
the
Vision" and "Temptations
in Redemption," and I
have
some comments.
Possible Spoilers
Below
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Spoiler Space
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Spoilers... you have been
warned.
*
Well, the third and fourth stories
do advance the
overall plot in "Dark Horizon," although I liked
"The Power of the
Vision" better (the title sounds
almost like a heavy metal album title). This
one was more like a stand-alone story than
"Temptations of Redemption" (I keep getting this
title backwords,and it reminds me
of a story I
wrote many years ago with the title "An
Admission of Submission," an
effect of all of
those
same sounds at the end of big words). In
"The Power of the
Vision," the overall arc is
advanced, but the story revolves around the
decision that Mei-Wan must make,
and a decision
that she does make by the end of the story.
One thing about the story, and
perhaps about the
arc overall, is that it was impossible to guess
which way Mei-Wan was
going. I thought she
was going to take the assignment on the
Ravenscroft, but it was not an overpowering
feeling. I did get the impression she was torn
between Jack and the love she had
denied herself
on
a previous posting, and actually had myself
rooting for her to go. I
don't know why
actually. Is there something about Jack I don't
like?
Actually, one thing in the story did puzzle
me. Mention was made of the crew becoming worried
about Jack McCall, and how he was becoming
unhinged
and seemingly an unfit commander. As a person not
intimately in the mind of McCall like Michael would be, I simply did not
see that
in the story. Afterall,
the Chamberlain has
not done much. The ship is in orbit around Yed
Post
Four (for some reason, I find that
a neat name for
a planet) and McCall is not really doing a lot.
In addition, given the large crew,
it seems that
individual members of the crew would have very
little contact with the
captain. He's even
insulated further with his administration staff, not to
mention the department heads that
most members of
the crew would actually report to. Most of
what the captain would say would be hearsay
mostly. I just never got the impression that is
implied here.
About "The Power of the
Vision," I do have some
questions. First of all, why all the shuttle
activity
at the planet? Why
couldn't people simply
beam down? With all of those ships in orbit, how did
the
Skorr manage to start their
attack? Maybe they
were
just science vessels, but they should have sensors
and should have been able to sound a
warning.
By the way, are the Skorr a Michael-Trek race?
I seem to have heard of them
before.
The background of the image with Mei-Wan in
Chapter
7, where did it come from? It almost looks
like something from a video game
with all the
overstacked women.
As for the "Temptations of
Redemeption," this was
more chapter of the story than a story in its own
right advancing the arc.
One thing I have
noticed in this story is all the introduction of "big
things."
We have this man named Corsica,
who appears to be
of some unknown race that travels the
galaxy and beyond (the Magellanic
Clouds!--and I
thought only the Athena had gone there!) and this
mysterious ship that creates
stable wormholes, and
which has always been around. What race is
Corsica? Why all the
secrecy about these
mysterious races. All of these "big things" that
are
showing up in "Dark
Horizon" are making me a
little
easy, since in every story, it seems, a new
surprise jumps out and some new
individual is
involved in this dark conspiracy.
Speaking of being involved in the dark
conspiracy... in the second story, the G'voda are so
mysterious,
so unknown that a member of the Q
Continuum has to
jump in and give McCall a primer on them.
In "Temptations of
Redemption," we find that
Zachary is in league with them! Somehow, this
doesn't ring exactly
true. The implication
of
the Q conversation was that the G'voda are completely
new, completely unknown to the
Federation.
If
they already had a spy on board the ship, Q might
have mentioned that, hinted at it even, but
nothing
of the kind. The idea seems to be that the
G'voda don't need spies, but of
course, if any
member of the Chamberlain crew was this spy, I
could see it being
Zachery. He comes across
as extremely obnoxious.
When Zachery does run off to the
G'voda, the ship
appears and the following line is used:
"Its hull had wide gaps where
glowing energy
blazed
so brightly it seemed more a shiny solid
than non-material
energy."
I think that Michael intended the
opposite, "it
seemed more non-material energy than a shiny
solid."
Overall, not bad efforts, and I
think--or maybe
I'm
hoping--that some of the weaknesses will be resolved
with coming stories in the
series. I'm kind
of waiting for number five, actually.
Steve
The Universe
Unbounded.
Visit "Star Trek: Athena" at http://ussathena.iwarp.com;">http://ussathena.iwarp.comhttp://ussathena.iwarp.com">http://ussathena.iwarp.com;
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