MCP wrote:
> http://www.feminismkills.com/tools.html
>
> Here is a list of tools every separated/divorced man should have,
> particularly if he is a father seeking child custody:
>
> 1. A Brain. Knowledge is a form of power. So is money. While there may be a
> shortage of money (probably due to her incessant golddigging) there is
> plenty of knowledge to be had, more often than not for free. Fill your mind
> with information. The more you know, the more you can do. The more you can
> do, the better off you're going to be in life.
>
> 2. Guts. Without these, you will be paralyzed by fear, which can make you
> helpless.
>
> 3. Tenacity/perseverance/patience/commitment. Dig in for the long haul. If
> you are a Dad seeking custody, chances are you are in for the battle of your
> life, and the battle will probably not be over until your child(ren)
> reach(es) adulthood. Get used to it! This isn't nice, but it's just the way
> that it is - the plain, ugly, unvarnished truth!
>
> 4. Energy. Take a daily vitamin, if you must, or do whatever else you need
> to do in order to get this, because there is much to be done, and you're
> certainly going to need it.
>
> 5. Hope/Optimism/Positive attitude. Without these assets, you are defeated
> before you even get started.
>
> 6. A sharp, aggressive, trustworthy lawyer who won't rip you off. Believe it
> or not, there are a few of them out there. You just have to search
> diligently until you find one.
>
> 7. A computer with some balls. That is, it should be fast, powerful
> computer, with a current operating system. Hardware should at least include
> a printer, scanner, and digital camera. A broadband connection is strongly
> recommmeded. A computer and Internet access offers instant information and
> worldwide communication capability (e-mail, fax, instant messengers, web
> sites). You computer can be used to collect and process information
> necessary for your survival and to help you prevail in your divorce and/or
> custody battle. A computer is a valuable asset you can use to prosecute your
> war against the bitch. With a computer you can communicate better with your
> attorney, and others. You can use a word processing program to draft your
> own motions, if you are ever a pro se litigant. You can also create a child
> contact log, draft and send correspondence, fax important documents, and so
> on. The helpful things you can do with a good computer are only limited by
> technology, your grasp of it (refer to tool #1) and your imagination.
>
> 8. A pocket sized tape recorder. This is best concealed somewhere on your
> body - in a t-shirt pocket, covered by a baggy flannel shirt, maybe? Anyway,
> don't leave home without it! The pocket sized tape recorder can be used to
> protect you from false allegations, and to collect valuable evidence against
> her, which can be used in court. With good, hard evidence, you might have a
> fighting chance. In fact, if she is a nasty, abusive bitch, she will be her
> usual self during pick up and drop off time for the child(ren). Get her
> threats, profanity, and other verbal abuse on tape! Then maybe you can even
> get a restraining order against her, provided you have some good, juicy
> evidence that can be used to your advantage in Family Court! The element of
> surprise is just about indispensible.
>
> 9. A digital camera and/or a camcorder. Don't leave home without these handy
> tools either! If "a picture is worth 1,000 words" what is
the value of a
> video? If you can somehow conceal your camera, and take photos
> surrepticiously, so much the better! Because of her presumed "victim"
> status, and because of the considerable gender bias against men in the
> family courts, the judge won't believe just what a nasty bitch she really
> is, unless you can provide indisputable proof.
>
> 10. Telephones - Cellular phone and speaker phone. Mobile communications
> capability is good for emergencies, and it is also very convenient. If you
> are in a high conflict separation/divorce, a cell phone can be very useful.
> A speaker phone is nice to have because, particularly when you have young
> children, you can conveniently eavesdrop on their conversations with your
> ex. Find out if she is badmouthing you, among other things. !Caution! Check
> your local laws before recording any telephone conversations without her
> knowledge and consent, to avoid possible criminal charges. It's called
> wiretapping, and penalties can be severe. Taping of telephone conversations
> between your child(ren) and her, and/or between you and her can be useful in
> two ways: A.) Intelligence gathering. B.) Evidence (but only in some cases,
> in accordance with your local laws - check them! In either case, hopefully,
> you just might hit paydirt!
>
> 11. A paper shredder. Shred anything that you don't want her, her lawyer, or
> the judge to read. If she doesn't have a paper shredder of her own, you
> might want to go "dumpster diving" or maybe get one of your
buddies to do it
> for you, if you can manage this without violating any stalking laws, or any
> restraining order she may have against you. Rooting through her trash is a
> nasty job, but somebody ought to do it, if possible. Who knows what you
> might find?!
>
> 12. Money. Your ex, your and her lawyer, and the Family Court will all be
> after your wallet. The more money you have, but the less people know about
> it, the better off you're going to be. Sell a kidney if you must, but get as
> much money as you can. You're going to need it to survive, thrive, and
> prevail in and out of Family Court.
>
> 13. Pencil and paper. These can also be used to document any incidents which
> might occur if/when you have any contact with her.
>
> 14. Police. Any violation of the law on her part ought to be reported to
> police, so that they can enforce the law, and hopefully, also provide you
> with documentation that you can use in court. Generally speaking, it is a
> good idea to avoid police whenever possible, seeing how it is their job to
> enforce the law, not to be your friend. As we all know, some laws are
> asinine. Moreover, many laws are gender biased in favor of women. So, don't
> get police involved unless it is absolutely necessary. However, if it is
> absolutely necessary, then don't hesitate to contact police.
>
> 15. A detective. Hire a detective only if you are sure that she is up to no
> good, and you belive that a detective can get information that can be used
> to your advantage in and/or out of court.
>
> !WARNING! If your ex is clever, it is possible and even likely that she will
> avail herself of some or all of the above mentioned tools. So, be on your
> guard! Don't take it for granted that she isn't spying on you. Never
> underestimate your enemy.
>
>
I wish I'd read this post 9 years ago when I started my battle.  It is
so true -- all of it, but I had to learn it on my own, the hard way.

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