Auric Hellman wrote:
> Heidi Graw wrote:
> > > wrote in message
> > >news:g61ru0l91o7aafu36e91ipo696eb7ncveu{at}4ax.com...
> > (snip)
> >
> > >Sillyman wrote:
> > > How you can
> > > make the leap from a swat on the bottom to beating a child into
> > > submission is beyond me.
> >
> > The pro-spanking lobby wants the right to continue to *spank*
> children.
> > What does *spanking* suggest to you?  To me I take it to mean
> "repeated and
> > measured hits."  We're not talking about *a swat*, but a
*spanking.*
> And if
> > a parent wants to merely swat, they can refrain from it by
employing
> other
> > techniques instead.  A swat doesn't indicate to me that whatever
> misdeed the
> > child was into requires that hit.  It's a reactionary impulse that
a
> parent
> > succumbs to for no valid and logical reason.
> >
> > In any case, I still maintain *spanking* is child-abuse.  There is
> > absolutely no need for it.  It's a tactic used to intimidate a
child
> into
> > submission.  My own goal was to raise "enlightened"
children...ones
> who can
> > think about situations and their "natural"
consequences.  I believe
> I've
> > been rather successful at it.  I have children who will come to me
to
>
> > discuss everything that is on their minds.  They don't have to fear
> me, or
> > that I would punish them in any way.  We talk, they think and in
> doings so
> > they learn.  The lessons become internalized and actually mean
> something.  I
> > didn't want my kids doing things in secret to avoid punishment.
Kids
> need
> > parental *guidance* and I didn't want to do anything to discourage
> them from
> > coming to me with any and all of their problems.
> >
> > Heidi
>
> >
>
> Parents very rarely "spank" a child because they wish to teach a
> lesson, they do it to release anger at the moment; later convincing
> themselves that it was for the childs own good. It is bullying. I
never
> once hit my son, who today is a fine upstanding young man. There are
> just far too many alternatives.

I along with my two sisters were spanked a few times as children, for
different reasons.  We're all fine upstanding, successful, women today.
We learned the hard way that our parents are our parents not our
friends, We were taught our place and to show respect.  As children
they taught us to respect them, in many different ways (not by
spanking) and to fear the consequences of our misdeeds.  There are
times when children do not listen to reason or do not understand the
reason.
There are times when they are on the verge of hysteria and you simply
can't discuss reason.
There are times when a child deserves to be punished for deliberately
going against the parent and intentionally doing something wrong,
dangerous or disrespectful.
I don't condone abusive hitting but a smack of the bottom is, at times,
the only reason that a child may pay attention to.



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