ivaluemyprivacy{at}mailblocks.com wrote:
> I would have thought this statistic should have got more attention.
> On some coverage it doesn't seem to be even mentioned!
> "..93% of the time, it was women who had petitioned for divorce."
>
>
>
> http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/4198951.stm
>
> Affairs 'main reason for divorce'
>

http://scotlandonsunday.scotsman.com/uk.cfm?id=85622005

It's not just the stars who have X factor in divorces

EDDIE BARNES


THE philandering of celebrities can be viewed as something distant from
reality but new research has shown that adulterous husbands and wives
are by far the main cause of Britain's record-high rates of divorce.

A poll of the UK's matrimonial lawyers found that suburban versions
of the lives of Noel Gallagher and Meg Matthews are played out across
Britain.

Despite the continuing appeal of marriage to most Britons, 27% of
divorces were caused by extra-marital affairs. With 10,500 divorces
taking place in Scotland every year, it suggests that around 2,800
affairs are to blame for marriage break-ups.

Unsurprisingly, the survey found that George Best was not alone, with
husbands three times as likely as their wives to cheat, accounting for
75% of divorces caused by adultery.

And contrary to popular belief in the seven-year-itch, the study
concluded that marriages are at their most vulnerable between the 10th
and 15th year, when more than 50% of divorces occur.

While adultery is the largest reason for divorce, the survey, by Grant
Thornton's Forensic Practice, found that other causes - including the
stress of having to cope with in-laws - were becoming more widespread.

Those who cited strains within the extended families as the reason for
divorce rose from 11% to 18% in the last year.

Within that category, the wife's family were cited as the core reason
in 78% of cases, perhaps indicating that the caricature of the
interfering mother-in-law still holds water.

More worryingly, the survey revealed that emotional or physical abuse
caused 17% of marriage breakdowns last year - also up on the 2003
figure of 10%.

Other major factors leading to divorce included mid-life crisis (13%),
workaholism (6%) and addictions such as alcoholism and gambling (6%).

The survey also found that fewer divorces now end up in court, with
bickering partners more likely to settle rather than face a lengthy
legal battle.

A spokeswoman for Relate, the counselling service for married couples,
agreed last night that adultery in modern Britain was as strong as
ever. She said: "More and more people are coming to us reporting
affairs, although not every case always ends in divorce and many
couples manage to come through and continue their relationship." But,
she added, modern marriages were coming under strain from a whole range
of different pressures.

"There is the strain of increasing numbers of people working away from
home. There are problems when it comes to finding a school for
children, especially if good schools are over-subscribed. Then there is
the issue about working parents and who does what, when and how. Even
when there is one partner at home looking after the children, divorces
occur because that is not valued," she said.

"We have to recognise the increasing complexity of families. If you
have a family with its own set of beliefs trying to integrate with
another family with its own set of beliefs, there is bound to be a
rub.We have to start looking at how to manage and integrate different
beliefs into a relationship," she added.

In Scotland, divorce rates rose from 4,812 in 1971, to a high of 13,133
in 1994. It has now fallen back slightly, and stood at 10,484 in 2003.

Thomas Millar, a family law specialist and partner at John Henderson &
Sons in Dumfries, said divorce rates had remained consistently high in
recent years north of the Border.

"There probably hasn't been much change over the last four or five
years but people are much more aware of the option. One in three
marriages now end in divorce," he said.

While adultery is still blamed for many divorces, the increase in the
divorce rate is also put down to the welcome rise in awareness among
women who suffer domestic abuse.

Millar said: "People now know that they can do more about it, rather
than just putting up with it. That has made a difference," he said.

Toni Pincott, a matrimonial expert in financial settlements with Grant
Thornton, said the survey had thrown up a revealing insight into when
marriages were at their most vulnerable.

"According to our survey's results, 53% of all divorces tend to occur
in marriages lasting between 10 and 15 years with a further 40% ending
earlier, between five and 10 years.

"The first five years of any marriage is pretty much divorce-free and
if the union lasts beyond 20 years it looks set for life," she added.

Among other findings, the survey discovered that in the vast majority
of cases (93% of the time) it is the women who petition for divorce.

Women achieved a better or considerably better settlement than men 60%
of the time.
-------------------------------
An interesting aspect of this is that it gives the impression that 75%
of the affairs in marriages are done by the man.  However this is only
in the cases involving divorce.  Many marriages won't break up when
there's an affair and given that men are much much less likely to seek
a divorce in general (93% vs 7%), it seems possible that the men are
more willing not to look for a divorce in this situation and that other
figures such as 55:45 male:female adulterers could still be correct.



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