From: Analda Anglin 

PART TWO: PYTHON INTERNET GUIDE

The free distribution of copyrighted materials through the Internet is
illegal.  There are no exceptions without specific permission from the
copyright owners.  The Python London office asks that we direct people to
the published versions of Monty Python material and encourage them to buy
the book versions of the scripts.

Useful books include: "All the Words" and "Just the
Words," compilations of the entire Flying Circus TV series;
"Monty Python and the Holy Grail," "Monty Python's Life of
Brian," and "Monty Python's the Meaning of Life," official
scripts of the movies; and  "The Monty Python Songbook," which
contains lyrics and piano music for 45 Python songs.  If you need ISBN
numbers or publishers for a specific Monty Python book, check out the
on-line Monty Python Bibliography http://www.dailyllama.com/bibliog written
by Hans ten Cate.

Listed below is a guide to some established Python Internet sites and their
contents.  These sites are listed here because of the wide appeal of the
information they contain.  There are dozens of other Python and
Python-related web sites that can be found using the link pages of these
sites or a search engine.

Alt.Fan.Monty-Python FAQ maintained by Analda Anglin http://www.pythonfan.com
This document, so obviously a review would be silly.

Monty Python's Daily Llama by Hans ten Cate http://www.dailyllama.com
Originally founded by Hans ten Cate in 1995, the Daily Llama became the
official news service for PythOnline in June 2002.  It is actively updated
with the latest news and is also a repository for information, trivia,
bios, and an upcoming Pythonology.  The site also contains the Monty Python
Bibliography, now called the "Spam List," which is the world's
largest listing of Python published material and collectibles anywhere.

Monty Python Direct
http://www.montypythondirect.com
Python merchandise for sale directly over the net.

Monty Python Pages by Damian Steele http://www.montypythonpages.com
A continually-updated site that has addresses, clip art, biographies, a
search engine, free wallpapers, interactive polls, song chords and lyrics,
news, a page dedicated to meaty Spam, the Graham Chapman tribute speech,
over 150 wavs, midis, and other sound files, stills from Terry Gilliam
animations, over 200 pictures, scanned autographed pictures, 400+ scripts
covering all four series of the show, and a free Python-styled electronic
greeting card service.

Cardinal Fang's Python Site
http://www.geocities.com/fang_club/index.html
This fan site contains biographies, a song index, an episode guide, and
free wallpapers.

Monty Python's Completely Useless Website http://www.intriguing.com/mp
This website has pictures, sounds, video clips, and scripts.

Sup's Monty Python Bits
http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/8889/python.htm
This site has the typical Python information along with harder to find things.

Cusack Books
http://www.cusackbooks.com
This site belongs to an out of print bookseller and book search business.
The owner is a self-professed Python fan and carries a large amount of
hard-to-find Python and Python-related material.

The Penn State Monty Python Society Page http://www.clubs.psu.edu/python
This group is rather well known, so their site is mentioned here.

Rutlemania by John Hazelton
http://www.rutlemania.org
This site contains pictures, explanations, wavs, and the Rutland Weekend
Television Episode Guide.  The Rutles was not an official Monty Python
creation, but a legendary pseudo-music group project that was put together
by Eric Idle and Python contributor Neil Innes.

The Pantomime Goose: Kim "Howard" Johnson
http://www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/Pointe/2765/KimHowardJohnson/index.html
This is the official site devoted to Kim "Howard" Johnson, noted
Python author and fan. It contains interviews, KHJ book information, and
many useful things to Python and KHJ fans

The Graham Chapman Archives
http://www.gcarchives.com
This site is meant to preserve and make available Graham Chapman's work. 
The Archives was established by David Sherlock and is directed by Jim
Yoakum.

Monty Python's Flying Talker administered by John "Shaggy"
Kolesar telnet://shagg.net:2010
The Talker is basically a socially oriented MUD that allows people to login
and have realtime conversations.  People can create their own rooms, send
mail, and post news.

The Monty Python & The Holy Grail Unofficial Fansite
http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/mpholygrail
Listed as the only unofficial fansite for the movie

PART THREE: QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

A.  The Witch Quote
  Q.   What does the witch say in the Holy Grail when she is found to
weigh the same as a duck, and therefore found to be a witch?
  A.  She says, "It's a fair cop."   The phrase is thieves' cant for
"you've got me dead to rights," which means that there has been
no entrapment and the person was fairly caught in the act.  The line has
also been used a few other sketches, like "Dead Bishop on the
Landing/Church Police" and "Whizzo Chocolates."

B.  Knights Who No Longer Say NI
Q.      What do the knights who no longer say NI now call themselves?
A.      They are the knights who say (something like) "ecky ecky ecky
ecky pi'tang zoop boing."  What was said on screen during the filming
was completely different from what was written down on the screenplay. The
line was spontaneously ad-libbed.  What is quoted in the net file scripts
of the movie is a phonetic approximation of what was said.  In case you are
curious, the official script for the Holy Grail says "We are now the
Knights who go Neeeow…wum…ping!"

C.  Holy Grail Monks
Q.      What are the monks chanting in The Holy Grail?
A.      The monks chant "Pie Iesu Domine.  Dona eis Requiem."  It is
Latin for "Merciful Lord Jesus.  Grant them rest."  These are
typical Catholic funeral mass phrases.

D.   Flying Circus Theme Music
Q.      What is the theme music for Monty Python's Flying Circus?
A.      The Liberty Bell March by John Phillip Sousa.  The Coldstream
Guards performed the recording used for the series.

E.   Rumors and Truth about Graham Chapman
Q.      Was Graham Chapman homosexual?  Was he an alcoholic?
A.      Yes and yes.  At his peak he was reportedly consuming two
quarts of gin a day.  Chapman stopped drinking later in his life. Q.     
When did Graham Chapman die?  What did he die of?
A.      He died on October 4, 1989, just one day before Monty Python's
20th anniversary.  Graham Chapman died of cancer.  The rumors of him
contracting AIDS are completely false.  They presumably came from the
infamous and yet utterly stupid notion that dead + homosexual = AIDS.

        When this newsgroup first started up, there was a long and
tedious debate about Chapman's cause of death.  A member in London went to
the public records office, got a copy of Graham Chapman's death
certificate, and posted it.

       The primary cause of death was cancer of the larynx (throat)
with secondary cancers elsewhere, including the liver.  Cancer of the liver
is quite common and quite fatal, but it is usually a sign of cancer
elsewhere.  The liver only gets affected in the final stages. Liver failure
will eventually kill you if pneumonia doesn't get you first.

        Death certificates in the UK are required by law to state both
the primary and secondary causes of death.  Graham died of pneumonia as a
result of cancer of the larynx that had spread to many other sites,
including the liver.

        The Associated Press has occasionally printed that Graham died
of AIDS, but that is incorrect.

F.  Deadly Joke
Q.      What is the funniest joke in the world?  What does it mean?
A.      Wenn ist das Nunstuck git und Slotermeyer?  Ja!  Beiherhund
das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

[Taken from "The First 200 Years of Monty Python" by Kim
"Howard" Johnson]:  "It was actually German gibberish,"
Eric Idle explains. "It's written-down gibberish, because we all had
to learn the same thing, yeah, but it's gibberish!  It doesn't mean a thing
at all.  At least, I don't think it does…"

Q.      Isn't some of that actual German?  What's the closet
translation  into English you can make? A.      Yes, some of the words used
were real German words.  Others
were pseudo German-sounding words.  It's mostly nonsense.

[Taken from an article to a.f.m-p by Dirk Rehberger]:  I've seen it, I'm
German, and here's the translation.
        Wenn ist das - If is the (note: "Wann"means "when," which
would make slightly more sense, since it's a question)
        Nunstueck - nun = now, stueck = piece
        git - that's obviously English! (but similar to "gibt" meaning
"gives" or, in the phrase "es gibt," "there is")
        und - and
        Slotermeyer? - Doesn't make sense! (Meyer is a common German
surname)
        Ja! - Yes!
        Beiherhund - hund = dog.  Beiher doesn't make any sense.
Bayer mean Bavarian, but you can't say "Bayerhund" for
"Bavarian dog;" you would have to say "Bayrischer
hund."
        das oder die - the or the (das is neuter, die is feminine)  or
that
        Flipperwaldt - Flipper = pinball, wald = wood/forest
        Gersput - Doesn't make sense!  "Ge" and "ver"
are very common
German prefixes for past participles, but not "ger."

        All in all: If is the now-piece (git) and (Slotermeyer)?  Yes!
(Beiher)dog that or the pinball wood (gersput)!

        Note that your translation may vary, depending on which
transcription you use and how hard you try to make sense of it.

G.   Poofters
Q.      What is a poofter/pooftah, as heard in the Bruces Philosophers
sketch?
A.      Poofter is slang for male homosexual.

H.     Walk This Way
Q.      What is the joke about the phrase "If I could walk that way…?"
A.      If I could walk that way is an old gag, possibly originated by
the Marx Brothers.  Typically someone would walk into a drug store or
pharmacy, ask for an ointment, and be told to walk this way (in other
words, follow me).  The customer would then reply, "If I could walk
that way I wouldn't need ointment."  The phrase "If I could walk
that way" has therefore become a classic and well-known comedy gag.

You also may occasionally see a comic sketch where a person is told
"Walk this way," then walks away in a comical manner (silly
walk!), implying walk the way I am walking instead of follow me.

I.   Four Yorkshire Men Sketch
Q.      What is the sketch of four men sitting around talking about
their childhoods and trying to outdo each other with stories about how hard it was?
A.      That is the Four Yorkshire Men Sketch.  It was originally
written pre-Flying Circus and was never performed in the series.  It was
performed in several stage shows, including Live at the Hollywood Bowl, and
is on Python audio recordings.

J.  Python Mailing Address
Q.      Where can I write the Python Office?
A.      The Python Office address for official correspondence is The
Python Office, 34 Thistlewaite Road, London  E5 0QQ, England. The office is
unable to respond individually to each piece of mail, including questions
or requests for signed pictures.  Do not send personal items to this
address for they will not be returned.  The office no longer accepts
personal items for signing.

K.  AKA
Q.      What is the "aka" I see some people use when they sign posts?
A.      The letters AKA stand for Also Known As and usually serve as
an alias.  Some posters use the aka as a postscript or a final witty
comment.  It's silly and has nothing to do with what aka really means, but
they are a part of this newsgroup's history and date back to 1991.

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