I should combine all these, but....

On Sat, 26 Oct 2002 12:19:30 -0700 Quinn Tyler Jackson 
writes:

> > Sorry to have been absent from the other fascinating discussion
> > here (and sorry you got hurt, Quinn),
> 
> I'll recover from this ... it's the feeling that sucks more than 
> the
> actual events.
> 
> What sucks the most is allowing it eat at me. I can't shake the
> feeling that a "real" writer doesn't let this kind of fecal matter 
> in  the emotional door.

(pssst: they do, too.)

> But then I realize ... hell, I am more sensitive than I allowed 
> myself
> to admit in the past. This writing thing ... was about ME and my 
> EGO,
> and I drew a line in the sand, daring idiots to cross it ... and 
> when
> they did ... I whined like a two-year-old about it. How utterly 
> gauche
> of me.

pffft
utterly human

Speaking as the walking wounded from that arm of the hospital wing, you
need to accept that, yes you have an ego. yes, people can hurt it,
deeply. And beating yourself up further because you have justifiable
feelings doesn't help the healing.

Quinn, what happened was deeply and justifiably disturbing. 
Allow yourself to be wounded by it without apology, without believing
that you ought to be superhumanly serene in the face of slings and
arrows, even if ungrounded. 

A wise man said, it is the rock in the shoe that ends the journey.
[Having watched enough EcoChallenges -- I've seen a misplaced thread
bring a world class athlete to tears, and end their participation.]

There are ALWAYS bigger tragedies; but that doesn't mean that your pain
is any less real, any less justified in its moment.

Of course, it's Western Culturally still a woman thing to vent these
things out to our friends and be ok with that.
But a little venting among friends can be (usually is) therapeutic.
Gets the thing out, lets us help share the burden, lets you hear from,
hopefully rational people, that you're not overreacting, that you are
justified in feeling the scalded cat (who, once burned will ever suspect
the milk).

Obviously there are those out there who are more than ready to blast us
off our pedestals (even when we had no idea we were perched on said). No
sense helping them along.

So give yourself leave to feel this thing, to work through this thing, to
heal from this, rather than, as it seems, be steamed at yourself for
being injured in the first place. 

Sure, we all want to be tougher than we are -- but there are times I
think that means we would miss too much.
IMHO.

in another msg you write....
>Because I *know* of my ego and self-absorbed thinking, I sometimes
> counter by slinking away ... perhaps in an attempt to keep myself in
> check.

oh, I SO Understand.
But sometimes it's better to walk away than waste your words.
Walking away isn't slinking.... Keeping silence may not always be the
right thing, but speaking isn't always right, either (as I put my foot in
it again). 

Anyway, to turn words used toward me Way Too Often (and not
inappropriately): quit beating up on my friend Quinn. 
Sure, you've got your arrogant moments (hell, don't we all?), but it
doesn't mean that the words of jerks should just slide off without
leaving a mark. And should this Rick rise again, you can point him to the
web link, without further ado.
Your CV stands. You stand. 
Still, allow the hurt, and then you can heal.

imho

Um, I'll climb down off this thingie (looks like the pedestal formerly
known as soap box) now.....


======
The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
--"Useful Work Phrases" (unknown)
======
As soon as we take one thing by itself, we find it hitched to everything
in the universe. --John Muir

--- Rachel's Little NET2FIDO Gate v 0.9.9.8 Alpha