In article ,
 "Heidi Graw"  wrote:

> >"Mark Sobolewski" 
wrote in message
> >news:mark_sobolewski-003017.17524529012005{at}news.central.cox.net...
> (snip)
>
> Lee and Mark...thanks for your responses.  Good thoughts expressed.  But I
> still don't see 1/2 vs. 1/3 as too great an advantage.

Probably just as we don't see a 1% growth in women who don't find
the notion of a househusband making them retch signs of
an egalitarian society on the horizon. :-)

If I told you that your boss was giving you a raise of 40%,
would that be significant?

> But
> anyway....considering globalization and American influences around the
> world, in the years to come you're going to come across Americanized FW's.
> So, that gap will close eventually.

Now that's a very valid (and fun) point!

Funny story (shut up, they're good!)

I was in a Krakow suburb at a KFC and ordering chicken and speaking
bad Polish and when the clerk told me that water wasn't free
I blurted out, in English "This isn't like the states" and
the woman responded, in perfect English "You're not in the states!"
and my Polish friend quipped "You mean he's not in the states,
YET!"

Hey, I'll be the first to admit that a lot of what we're viewing
is human nature and the materialism that's kicked in as
standards of living and incomes have increased.

At the same time, the US has a unique history in that the feminism
movement rode on the civil rights movement with, I do not make this up,
upper class white university students with their daddy paying for their
apartment (not dorm) comparing themselves to black slaves of the past.
"Fiddle dee dee!"

Also, a lot of the glamour of the US has worn off.  Remember when
having a pair of blue jeans was a big deal?  American pop
music of the past 10 years has SUCKED.  Most of what's being
"exported" from the US to other countries is largely politically
neutral: action films, cartoons, "oldies" music, etc.

Finally, as we become globalized many foreigners are able to
see for themselves what the "real" US is like.  My Russian
friends were shocked when they discovered that Los Angeles
didn't look anything like "Baywatch" :-)  People don't feel
ashamed of their own cultures anymore in comparison to the US
even as many people immigrate here.  There is not so much
pressure to "assimulate" as in the past and it's even seen
as a sign of a lack of class.

> As for those 22% of men (age 25 to 34) claiming they will never get married,
> I think more than a few will end up marrying regardless.

Agreed.  As I said, it became popular for a lot of young women
during the 70's onward to say they weren't interested in marriage
as a ploy to play hard to get.

But then again, there is a real motivation for these men to truly
not want marriage and it's 50% risk of divorce.  A higher
percentage of these men are probably sincere.

>  At age 25 the guys
> are just getting their stuff together...out of college and still in their
> early stages of gaining work and life experience.  After being that
> struggling student, the boys jest wanna have fun!

Indeed.  The boys, at least, do have a lot of time to play the field.

>  And why not!!!  I
> personally don't think men are ready for marriage until age 30.  ;-)

Looking back, I see my choices as a wash.   I could have married
a very nice girl when I was 21 but didn't and spent a lot of time
afterward.  They get "gobbled up" like roses at a Valentines day
sale. On the plus side, I did do a lot of traveling and learning
about women as I looked.

Note that I'm not the typical man (for good and bad reasons I guess
you could say)  Many men, if they're ambivalent about marriage
at that age and it stays with them for 10 years aren't going
to be in the mindset or have my kind of experience level to
seriously pursue a good wife when he's ready.  If he's cautious,
he's not going to have the tools to seperate the wheat from the chaffe.

> Anyway, at age 25 my own hubby had no intention of getting married.  At 27
> he met me, at 29 he married me.  22 years later we're still together.  ;-)
> Not bad for a guy who never wanted marriage or kids.  He's got two sons and
> a wife!  ;-)

Yes, but did he say he didn't have an intention of getting
married or was HOSTILE to the idea as these men appear to be?

Also, there's a lot of "oats" to sow out there for young men.
A social worker in my building told me that she has statistics
that show 11% of college age students in the states have
herpes.  I was shocked.  In my generation, it was quite rare
especially at a young age.  These kids are screwing
like bunny rabbits.

> > Note that they are free to date foreign men.  Since they
> > apparently lack that ambition, that gives men a distinct
> > advantage.
>
> Oh...hard to say.  I don't have any stats, but just looking around at
> couples, I do see CWs dating and marrying FM's.

I don't doubt it happens especially if the man was already
in the states to begin with.  But not necessarily in the same
numbers as men who actually get up and make the effort
to sponsor the mate of their dreams.  These women probably
are just lucky enough to have such a man land in their lap.

There's another difference between AW and most FW: The notion
of marriage being about work and not just "happening" by magic
according to one's ideals.  American women are taught that
if they just wait around long enough, their perfect soulmate
will appear.  This is similar to holding onto old lotto tickets
to see if they suddenly have value.

> So, while most of these
> women may not be travelling outside the country to actually import their
> men, they do find immigrants attractive, especially those who've entered the
> country under the "skilled worker" or "business" class.

I'll agree with that. :-)  Women go nuts for accents. :-)

> These men are
> ambitious and that is what more than a few CWs women find attractive.

No, really?  Apparently, 99% of CW find achievers more desirable
than nurturers.  Who would have thought? :-)

> It's kinda weird though...AMs and CMs importing FWs, and AWs and CWs acting
> as that welcome committee for new FM arrivals.   Sometimes, a man with an
> accent is considered very sexy.  Maybe CWs should hang out at the airport
> more often?  ;-)
>
> Heidi

I've found that airports, overall, have a certain kind of romantic
magic.  The volunteer traveler's booth worker told me that she
worked there just because she loved airports. :-)

It's good fortune for the 99% of CW who finds an ambitious local
or foreign man.  But for men who want a mate, they don't leave it
up to chance.  And their chances only get better as they age...

regards,
Mark Sobolewski


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