Heidi Graw wrote:
> >"Mark Sobolewski" 
wrote in message
> >news:mark_sobolewski-BB92A3.12204830012005{at}news.central.cox.net...
> (snip)
>
> >Mark asks:
> >How many doors are you
> > willing to hold open for men who need it?
>
> I do that all the time!  If I'm at the door first, I hold it open for
the
> person right behind me, be that man or woman.  And if I see a
tottering old
> man shuffling along with his walker I hold the door open and
wait...and
> wait...and wait until he finally makes it through.  The old geezers
are ever
> so grateful when I do that for them.  ;-)
>
> And if I'm on the bus (which is extremely rare) I give up my seat for
any
> old man or old lady.  I've also given up my seat to any person who
was
> lugging around heavy shopping bags or was carrying awkward packages.
>
> These are just everyday common courtesies...nothing chivalrous at all
about
> them.

Hello Heidi,

I wouldn't call them common so much as MINIMAL.  You did comply
with the letter of the law: "men who need it"  This doesn't
demean in any way your decent manners since, as you and I know,
there are too many people who don't engage in these basic courtesies.

Notice that I said decent manners.  GOOD manners is going beyond
need.  Running ahead to open up the door for the group.  Opening
up the door for a person you just met, for example.

And then there's a third category that I'm violating right now:
Being forgiving and understanding when someone is poorly mannered.
"Ladies" in the states often say that if a man is poorly
"mannered" especially on a date, she dumps him or corrects him
in public view.  I would call them manners nazis.

But you took what I wrote a bit out of context.  I was talking
about opening doors philosophically to a woman who had sneered
at "sexist" men "left behind" presumably not being successful
as they had been in the past.  Rather than responding to men's
needs with sympathy and dignity, this woman instead regards weak
men as pathetic even as she decries sexist men for being
maucho and power hungry.  F'ed up, eh?

In other words, men "hold open" doors for needy women and still
respect them romantically.  99% of women do not share this
ideal with men quite yet.  Maybe in 1500 years...
regards,
Mark Sobolewski



--- UseNet To RIME Gateway {at} 1/31/05 6:06:11 PM ---